John Wooden

The first time I heard of John Wooden I was listening to a talk on leadership that I already wasn't impressed with.  When he was mentioned and the speaker explained who he was, in my mind it reiterated the lack of knowledge the speaker had, and I thought, "Big deal.  A coach?  That's all they could come up with?"

Don't think that about John Wooden.

I think Luke 22:32 describes John Wooden perfectly.  He was "converted" to living well with a deep value system, and then he went about strengthening others with that.  John's father was his example in that, giving him a seven point creed to try to follow, including "Be true to yourself," "Make each day your masterpiece," and "Pray for guidance and give thanks for your blessings every day."

It's interesting studying a sports figure verses a political figure, businessman, or religious leader.  Not only do you see the effects, but you get all the stats to really prove how great they are.

John started out as a great basketball player.  He was the Basketball All-American for 3 years (the first person to do that), was a college player of the year, and the college scoring champ for the year.

The year before John coached at UCLA the team had 12 wins and 13 losses.  His first year (1948) they had 22 wins and 7 losses, and in 1949 they had 24 wins and 7 losses.  As it was pointed out during our class discussion, he was probably dealing with essentially the same players that had been on the 1947 team, so a great leader does make a difference.  John retired in 1975, and in the 12 seasons leading up to that his team were National Champions 10 times, including 7 in a row (still a record).  In that same time period they had 4 perfect seasons, with 30 wins and no losses.

John Wooden was the first person to be inducted to the Hall of Fame as both a player and a coach.

But enough with the stats.  People knew he was a great coach, but it wasn't until after he retired that his leadership wisdom became more widespread.

A few of my favorite quotes from him (there are LOTS):
-- "Discipline yourself and others won't need to."
-- "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others thing you are."
-- "Never try to be better than someone else.  Learn from other, and try to be the best you can be."
--  "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the best effort to become the best of which you are capable."

In discussing character, there are many stories that show John's.  In 1947 the team John was coaching was invited to play in a national tournament, but he refused to take his team since they had a policy against African Americans playing.  Also in 1947 Purdue wanted Wooden to be their assistant coach until the current coach's contract ran out, and be the head coach after that.  Wooden declined, not wanting to make the coach a lame duck coach.  In 1950 when that coach's contract ran out they invited him to be the coach.  John's wife didn't really like living where they were near UCLA and he wasn't sure he was where he wanted to coach so he considered it, until UCLA reminded him that he had insisted on a 3-year contract with them, and it had only been 2 years.  Feeling he would be breaking his word if he left, Wooden stayed.

John Wooden also believed that family was of utmost importance.  He was asked once if he runs his family like he runs his team.  He said no, I run my team like I run my family.  When he wife passed away in 1985, he wrote her a love letter every month and placed it on her pillow, up until just a few months before he died when his eyesight made it impossible.

John took 14 years to create what he called the Pyramid of Success, taking special care to choose the characteristics and their placement on the pyramid.  I didn't spend a lot of time studying this, but I want to.  If you glance over the pyramid, make sure you note that faith and patience are the "mortar" (as he calls it) of the whole pyramid.

The exciting thing about studying more recent leadership examples is being able to see and hear the real deal.  You can feel that John Wooden is a great person listening to him in this talk.

While planning who I would teach about to our Vanguard Youth homeschool group this year, I wanted to give the youth not only great leadership examples, but a variety of examples in different walks of life so they can see how people can be leaders in any walk of life.  John Wooden adds the biggest variety to our year, and it was definitely a meaningful study.

Ernest Shackleton

Ernest Shackleton was a great explorer with his eye especially on Antarctica.  After his first experience there, it became his goal to achieve the South Pole.  Three times he shot for that goal, yet he failed each time.  But were they really failures?

S. Michael Wilcox suggests that "His destiny seems to have been to teach us how to lead."  It is easy to categorize Shackleton as a true service-oriented leader.  Through incredible tests of survival, Shackleton always kept his vision of bringing every man home at the front of his mind, giving up his own comfort and personal goals for the benefit of the rest.

During his third attempt at the pole he was especially tried.  Their ship, Endurance, became ice bound for several months.  After the ship was crushed by the melting and shifting ice, they were stranded on the ice for a few more months.  I know our family gets pretty stir crazy when sickness or something keeps us all home bound, so imagining months and months stuck on the same ship then even more on the ice - yikes!  Besides being sick of one another, dangers were everywhere.  "[Shackleton] knew how dire their plight was.  Almost every night, he shouted himself awake from nightmares in which he pictured one disaster or emergency after another.  Would the boats be separated when they took to the ocean?  Would he himself be incapacitated?  Would Worsley's navigational books be lost?  Would they run out of food?  One after another, disasters visited him and shook him awake.  Then, in the remaining hours of the night, he would form plans for meeting the crises he had dreamed of.  In spite of his anxiety, he tried to keep up the appearance of calm in order to maintain morale.  Although tortured by worry, he remained outwardly unperturbed" (Armstrong, 70).  Much of Shakleton's success came from his ability to look clearly at potential problems and plan accordingly, rather than succumbing to the fear of what could be.

When the ice melted enough that they could get to the open ocean, the 28 men were split between three lifeboats to paddle through terrible, freezing storms to Elephant Island, 346 miles from where the Endurance sank.  Upon arrival, realizing they couldn't stay there long, Shackleton took five others and climbed back into what was deemed the strongest lifeboat, leaving behind the rest of the men to go in search of help.  Shackleton kept a careful watch on the men, knowing he needed each to make their destination.  "When someone looked particularly bad, the Boss ordered a round of hot milk for all hands.  The one man he really wanted to get the hot drink into never realized that the break was for his benefit and so wasn't embarrassed, and all of the men were better off for having the warmth and nourishment" (Armstrong, 100).  I love that he cared for each man as an individual, mindful of their needs and aiding those without making that person feel singled out or weak.  He watched the individual, cared for all, and all benefited.

After another 15 days on the cold, stormy ocean, Shackleton and the five arrived at South Georgia Island, but for safety's sake, landed on the opposite side from where the whaling ships and factories were.  The boat was no longer in any shape to sail, so with two men too sick to continue, Shackleton left one man to care for them, and took two others with him over the unexplored snow-covered mountains, taking them an amazing 36 hours to cover 32 miles with only about 50 feet of rope and a carpenters adze.  (Seriously, this man never quits!)

One of the most beautiful parts of the story comes at this part of their journey.  "As they slogged their way through the snow, a strange feeling began to grow on each of the men.  The three discovered long afterward that they all had the feeling that there was a fourth.  'Even now again I find myself counting our party--Shackleton, Crean, and I and--who was the other?' Worsley wrote later.  'Of course, there were only three, but it is strange that in mentally reviewing of the crossing we should always think of a fourth, and then correct ourselves.'

"'When I look back at those days,' Shackleton added, 'I do not doubt that Providence guided us . . . I know that during that long march of thirty-six hours over the unnamed mountains and glaciers of South Georgia it often seemed to me that there were four, not three.' At the time, however, Shackleton, Worsley, and Crean did not discuss it" (Armstrong, 110).  I think Shackleton's purpose was so true and so selfless, that he was supported through that by heavenly means.

Another incredible experience happened as they got closer to the whaling camp.  They found themselves at the top of a frozen waterfall.  "There was nothing to tie the rope to.  Worsley held it, while first Shackleton and then Crean went over the edge.  They went down the rope as sailors do, letting it slip through their hands and not putting their weight on it until just before they hit bottom.  At the top, Worsley bunched the end of the rope up and jammed it under some rocks.  If he didn't put his weight on the rope until the bottom, it just might hold.  Worsley stepped off into the air, plummeting downward with the rope whipping through his hands.  Shackleton and Cream caught him as he fell, and his full weight yanked on the rope.  It held.

"Startled, the three men stared up at the top of the waterfall and tugged on the rope.  It wouldn't budge.  It might have been frozen, but they couldn't understand what was holding it.  Shrugging, they turned and left their rope hanging where it was.  They didn't need it any longer" (Armstrong, 114).

When they finally reached the whaling station, their thoughts were not of their own rescue, but that the rest of the men were now saved.  Still, it took Shackleton four attempts to get to the men back on Elephant Island, where he found ALL were safe and alive.  "We knew you'd come back," one of the men said to him.  Shackleton called that the best compliment he'd ever received.

Many, many leadership lessons can be taking from Ernest Shackleton.  But I'll end with Shackleton's own words about it.  "It was like this," Shackleton said much later.  "The thought of those fellows on Elephant Island kept us going all the time.  It might have been different if we'd had only ourselves to think about.  You can get so tired in the snow, particularly if you're hungry, that sleep seems just the best thing life has to give . . . But if you're a leader, a fellow that other fellows look to, you've got to keep going.  That was the thought which sailed us through the hurricane and tugged us up and down those mountains . . . and when we got to the whaling station, it was the thought of those comrades which made us so mad with joy that the reaction beats all effort to describe it.  We didn't so much feel that we were safe as that they were saved" (Wilcox, 116).

I need to memorize part of that one.  I may not travel the Antarctic, but there are plenty of tired, hungry, just want to hide under the covers days.  But if you're a leader . . . 

Quote Sources:

Jennifer Armstrong, "Shipwreck on the Bottom of the World."

S. Michael Wilcox, "10 Great Souls I Want to Meet in Heaven."

Hall of Fame

My new favorite hobby is studying awesome people.

Last summer I discovered the book "Lessons from Great Lives" by Sterling Sill (but if you want it, get the old edition since the "co-author" of the new one took out half the people, though he did add in two, including a chapter on Sterling Sill).  For quite some time I've watched for great qualities in people that I want to emulate, but Sill talks about creating his own personal "Hall of Fame" of people with qualities he wanted to build in himself.  It's an inspiring read, and it's helped me to see history in a new, more real light.  Sill wrote biographies of over 100 people for his own benefit.  As he states, "A person who provides a good example has the blessed ability of arousing a desire in others to develop their own talents and aptitudes to their upper limits.  The tremendous upward pull that one personality may have upon another might be compared to the attraction that the planets exert as they hold each other in their orbits."  

From Sill, I learned about another source on great people.  Elbert Hubbard wrote the "Little Journeys into the Homes of Great..." series, which includes great scientists, orators, teachers, women (because they were written a long time ago when we needed our own book), reformers, musicians, etc.  Lucky enough, these are in the public domain and free for use.  I've only read a few of these, one that I thought was odd because it didn't have nearly enough about the person, and two others that I really enjoyed.

Then a couple months ago we had just walked into Deseret Book when I noticed the book "10 Great Souls I Want to Meet in Heaven" by S. Michael Wilcox.  I carried it around the rest of the time we were there telling myself to put it back, but when I didn't, I googled for a coupon and bought it.  Very glad I did.  Wilcox mentions that when he initially started making his own list of great people, he began with family, then thought of people in the scriptures, historical figures, and even great characters in literature, but for the book he chose historical figures.  One quote from the preface that gives me chills (referring to things like Psalms 8:4-5), "Sometimes it is difficult to believe such lofty thoughts are describing us and our fellow human travelers.  It is certainly true we have, as a race, often not lived up to these divine potentialities.  Yet man was created in the image of God, not only outwardly, but also inwardly, in the qualities of the soul.  Humanity was the last act of creation, its crown!  We shouldn't be surprised to see evidences of glory and honor in our fellowmen."

I've been able to teach about and discuss some of the great people I've been studying during Vanguard, our homeschool group, but I've decided I need to keep a better record of that for my own Hall of Fame, and maybe to spark the interest of others that might want to learn about some of these greats as well.  Stay tuned.  (This might actually get me blogging somewhat regularly again.)

P.S.  Here's an interesting article I found with a "discussion" between 10 greats.

2011 Till Now

I need to get some thoughts out of my heart.

Through 2011 until now life has been crazy.  No problems to speak of, no major challenges, but incredibly crazily busy.  I would be talking to someone that knew a piece of what I was involved with, and they would comment that they didn't know how I could do it all.  In the back of my mind I would be listing off all the other things they didn't even know about.

Not saying I'm wonder woman or super mom.  Probably just some variety of crazy.

But two big things have come to an end.  On one hand it's nice to not have the responsibility and all that being "in charge" entails, but on another hand, there are so many wonderful opportunities to learn and stretch with each.  I will especially miss all the people.  I'm very happy sitting in my little corner of the world all by myself and my family, and really probably do that more than I should.  But I love being around great people and learning from them, and both of those involved being around and learning from a lot of really amazingly great people.

Before actually coming to "the end" of each I felt like I was ready, that I had had my time and did what I needed to do.  But both endings were a lot harder than I thought.  Hard to close a chapter of your life, especially knowing that with one of these things I will never get to do it again.

I believe that this life is about becoming, so why these things at this time?  What have I learned?

1.  It's always my job to care.  I don't need a special responsibility to do that.
2.  It's far less about who you are when you walk into responsibility, and far more about who you are when you are done.
3.  It's important to have a vision of what you'd like to do and communicate that well.  If people aren't following it, it's usually because of how well (or rather, how poorly) you communicated that vision, not that they don't want to follow.
4.  It's important to get to know people.  What you see and what you've heard usually aren't the real deal.
5.  No success can compensate for failure in the home.
6.  Prayer makes a difference.
7.  The atonement is real, and helps us be far more than we normally are.

Maybe someday I'll write about each of these so you can learn too.

It's Golden! Try it!

I have a new favorite truth, and I actually get to teach it 3 different times this week to 3 very different groups.  Since I'm so excited about it, I wanted to share here as well.

Consider two varieties of laws - man-made vs. natural laws.  Man-made can be set by the whim of a person or by lengthy legislation process, they can changed, and they can be removed.  Man-made laws are created to govern people, and there is usually a punishment attached, though if you don't get caught, you can avoid the punishment.  Natural laws are always there, and no matter how much you argue about them, you can't change it (think gravity for instance).  If not followed, there is always some form of punishment, whether painful (again gravity) or unprofitable (think gardening and the laws of seasons and plant needs).

This truth is a natural law taught by Jesus Christ.  For a great introduction on the power of this principle, read the story at the beginning of this talk where he is sitting in his car and a little boy sticks his tongue out at him (it's a great story, go read it).  As he states, “That was a simple experience, but it demonstrated that in most encounters we can determine the kind of experience we are going to have by how we respond.”

So what is the law?

Matthew 7:12 & 3 Nephi 14:12 both state, “Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them, for this is the law and the prophets.”  Otherwise known as the Golden Rule!  This is also known as the Law of Reciprocation and the Law of the Boomerang, and in one circle I know of it's known as "The Greatest Leadership Secret" (isn't that lovely?).  It is also like unto the law of the harvest, that “whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap.”

I know you've all heard the Golden Rule over and over, but maybe haven't realize the true power that is involved with it.

From Elder Sterling W. Sill, “We are all human magnets.  Our deeds, our attitudes and even our thoughts attract in kind.  If you frown at someone he scowls back at you.  If you want smiles, give smiles.  You can know in advance how everybody will react to a given situation.  Therefore, a great power is placed in your hands if you choose to use it.  Just figure out what you want, and then give accordingly. . .  If you would like to be trusted, respected, love and followed, just learn to practice this law.”

I didn't know this until recently, but there is also something known as "The Silver Rule."  Basically that says that that you shouldn't do anything hurtful to anyone else that you wouldn't want done to you.  In other words, don't do mean things.  "The Golden Rule" is far more positive, stating that if you want good things to happen to yourself, you should do good things. 

Jesus explains the principle further in Luke 6:31-35 and Matthew 5:44.

This is a principle of self-mastery - accepting responsibility for our own actions, and choosing to do good.

What does it mean when you're playing a game and someone hands you the dice?  That it's your turn, right?  One of the most important things to realize with this principle is that in the Game of Life we're all playing, it is always your turn!  You're never waiting for someone else to move so you can act, it's always your move.  Until you realize you can take a bad situation and turn it around (like in the sticking-the-tongue-out story), you aren't using the full power in all this.

TEST IT OUT!

And a question for you...  Since natural laws have a punishment when not followed, does not following this law have a punishment, and if so, what?

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And a few extra quotes that follow along with this for good measure:

  

“The more we are filled with the Spirit of God, the more we extend ourselves to others. We become peacemakers in our homes and families, we help our fellowmen everywhere, and we reach out in merciful acts of kindness, forgiveness, grace, and long‐suffering patience. . . This is the peaceable way of the follower of Jesus Christ.” Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Way of the Disciple”

“Love is the defining characteristic of a disciple of Christ… Love is the guiding light that illuminates the disciple’s path and fills our daily walk with life, meaning, and wonder. Love is the measure of our faith, the inspiration for our obedience, and the true altitude of our discipleship. Love is the way of the disciple.” Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “The Love of God”

“Our true claim as disciples comes when we can say with certainty that His ways have become our ways. . . “The blessings of discipleship are readily available to all who are willing to pay the price. Discipleship brings purpose to our lives so that rather than wandering aimlessly, we walk steadily on that strait and narrow way that leads us back to our Heavenly Father. Discipleship brings us comfort in times of sorrow, peace of conscience, and joy in service—all of which help us to be more like Jesus.” Elder James E. Faust, “Discipleship”

“The following has been written about discipleship: “. . . A disciple of Christ is one who is learning to be like Christ— learning to think, to feel, and to act [like] he does. To be a true disciple, to fulfill that learning task, is the most demanding regimen known to man. No other discipline compares … in either requirements or rewards. It involves the total transformation of a person from the state of the natural man to that of [a] saint, one who loves the Lord and serves with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength.”” Elder L. Tom Perry, “Discipleship”

Choosing to Follow

Our family was invited to perform some service a couple weeks ago, and we quickly accepted the opportunity.  Simple really.  Meet at the church, and help clean.

While we were there, I thought about how the process of gathering people for this service could be improved.  I had seen sign up sheets about it in the past, but we got a phone call.  Maybe the sign up sheets hadn't worked.  I wondered if it would make a difference if it was laid out how often our congregation had the responsibility, and if everyone were asked to perform this service once, possible twice, through the year.

The person in charge was there with us, and I asked if she gets a lot of excuses when she asks for help.

"Yes, I do.  Or people just don't call back."  She mentioned later that she's done it all herself before.  With our crew, it took us two hours.  That would be a big job on your own.

As I thought more about it, I wondered if things would be different if someone else were making assignments. My mind went through a list of people, and and I imagined possible scenarios if they were in charge.  Some gathering friends, some guilting people into helping, and some like this one, performing the service on their own if necessary.

This all brought me to another, bigger question.  Why do we choose whether we follow based on the person leading?

True, some people are natural leaders.  They gather people easily, and people are quick to follow.  I've noticed that I love to see someone with a vision actively working towards that, and it is especially effective when they are sharing that vision (i.e. vocal about it!).

There are others maybe not as charismatic, not as readily noticed.  They perform their duties more quietly, yet placed as a leader for a time, they are moving forward as well.  Is their effort less?  The result also accepted? Leadership in a widow's mite-ish sort of way.

I guess the biggest question is where your loyalty lies - the person or the cause.

Dissonance and Harmony

I bought a book at the DI a few months ago called "I Didn't Plan to be a Witch: A Guide for Frustrated Mothers Everywhere" by Linda Eyre. It's been in my car ever since for those stuck-waiting-with-nothing-to-do moments, but it's only been opened a couple of times because either I don't wait enough or I always have something to do while I wait.

I got to wait for a bit today, for Jamie and my dad to meet me for a lunch date. Since each chapter is a shortish essay on some aspect of parenting, I glanced through the table of contents, saw one on sibling rivalry, and decided that was the chapter to read. The lesson is good enough to share.

Bach was a genius at putting together chords and establishing new rules to create complex, rich music. Bach used many methods to make his compositions moving and creative, one of which as dissonance. Over and over again, through passing tons and intentional "wrong" notes, he created a brief, uneasy feeling. Most interesting of all was the relief he could make the listener feel through the resolution of the dissonance.

Bach was a master at resolving the dissonance in his music in wonderful ways--sometimes in predictable ways; other times in creative, new ways. A man known for his "well-tempered clavichord," Bach spent a lifetime establishing music as "well-tempered."

So should be our own households. I hope you have a sigh of relief as you realize that dissonance is necessary to contrast with and resolve into harmony. Dissonance actually makes life more interesting. It helps us grow and progress. The important thing is how we resolve the dissonance. If we do it right, a feeling of even more harmony results, whereas the wrong resolution can cause even greater feelings of anxiety.

Think of a recent example of dissonance in your home and decide whether the dissonance was resolved to create harmony or more dissonance.

She shares an example from her home when a daughter wanted to have a friend sleepover, and because of the previous sleepover her answer was a quick "NO." Of course her daughter was upset and complained. Though her answer was final, she had created more dissonance and decided to put herself in her daughter's shoes. Before the daughter left for school, Mrs. Eyre offered a different solution that they were both happy with, which resulted in greater "harmony" between the two of them. She continues:

Dissonance is a part of life. Whether it's only a passing note or a big, out-of-shape chord, we need to expect it, even anticipate it, and sometimes think about resolutions in advance. Other times, we just need to keep working at it until it feels right. Remember: interesting dissonance makes a greater harmony!

I'm sure it's unbelievable (cough cough) to most of you out there, but we do have our fair share of dissonance in our home. It was refreshing that she didn't give some magic trick, saying that it's possible to entirely get rid of dissonance, but instead called it a "part of life." It's even better to know that through dissonance, the harmony can be even more refreshing and beautiful.

Something to think about! It's got my mind back on those great conductors, evaluating again how I can be a better conductor.

Lead Like You Love It

When I posted this entry I mentioned another I had been writing on leadership with a conductor as the example of the principle (mostly written back in January, by the way). A friend told me tonight that I need to be blogging more about this kind of thing, so here we go.

So first, the example. About a year ago I was at a meeting one evening with a large group of boy scout leaders. They announced the opening song and prayer, and the organist began to play. The music conductor stood up in his scout uniform before the large roomful of people, and as the words began, he started leading us in the song like there wasn't another place in the world he would rather be. He was smiling and singing away, looking like he was having the time of his life.

I couldn't hardly keep my eyes off him, he was so fun to watch! I wondered what I was missing just sitting there in the audience, rather than up there leading. I don't remember if he was leading 'correctly,' but correctly or not, people were happily following him. He was there to do the job, do his best, and have a great time doing it. I would bet I wasn't the only person who noticed. I think I learned more from that man that I did from the rest of the meeting (sorry other speakers). His simple example taught me mountains.

LEAD LIKE YOU LOVE IT!
I thought of this while watching the musical performance of "Air and Simple Gifts" by John Williams during President Obama's inauguration. Of course each of the four musicians are top performers and leaders in their fields, but Yo-Yo Ma especially held my attention because he looked like he was having a blast. I watched the performance twice that day and was captivated by him both times. While pointing and telling the kids we own some of his CDs and he's famous because he's been on Arthur (check him out at 1:00 and 3:20, somehow his ears are bigger when he's a cartoon), I couldn't help but mention, "Look how much fun he's having!" (Maybe he was grinning knowing that we were listening to a recording so everyone didn't have to listen to their cold out-of-tune instruments, but who's to say for sure?)

We've all been around someone in a leadership position that complains, joking or not, about what they do. It's hard to follow someone that isn't happy about their job, even jokingly. They give the impression that they are there as a place holder, wishing their time was over rather than someone there to really lead, serve, and do their best. People don't look to complainers for an example.

On the other hand, people that are willingly and happily doing the work they are there to do become a great example to everyone that sees them. While I was a nursery leader for our church, meeting with the 18 months to 3 year old children every Sunday, I made it a personal goal of mine to show up early and always be happy while I was there. I wanted people to wonder what they were missing out on. Early on there were probably days when I was doing my best to paste on a smile, but an interesting by-product of that is after a while I didn't have to pretend anymore. When someone made a comment about me being "stuck" in there, I would let them know why I love it.

I'm certainly not always perfect at this, but it's something I've tried to apply. At home I think it's especially important to show our families that we love to be with and lead them. I've heard stories of girls not wanting to be mothers because of the example their own mothers showed of being so displeased with the job.

We are being watched more than we could ever imagine. Let your joyful service be an example to those around you, and people will follow. "For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace: the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands" (Isaiah 55:12). Cheesy, but it follows the musical examples, and you probably will be surprised by the miraculous results of your joyful attitude.

LEAD LIKE YOU LOVE IT!

P.S. I attended the same meeting a month ago, and I was most excited about going because I was so hoping to see the same man conducting the music again. Unfortunately, they had someone else, and she didn't look nearly as happy to be there.

Another great post on what someone has learned from conductors (to add to my own ah-ha's about that):  http://michaelhyatt.com/50-8-leadership-lessons-from-a-symphony-conductor-podcast.html

My Parenting Lesson for the Day

I needed this today. Take a look (it's SO worth it).

Lead Like the Great Conductors

Now really, don't read on until you've watched that or you won't get most of the rest. It's 20 minutes if you just watch it straight through (took me at least an hour because I was taking crazy amounts of notes).

I love to learn about leadership. I love how leadership principles apply in so many many ways. In fact, I'm even very slowly working on a book about leadership. I have a few posts I've written about leadership that have never been posted with the book in mind. Maybe I don't want bad feedback on something that is so deep in my heart. One post even involves a great conductor I saw in person once. Maybe I'll have to share that since it's so closely related to this.

So about this particular leadership lesson from Itay Talgam. I want to lead like the greats, especially when it comes to leading my children. Unfortunately today was a Riccardo Muti kind of day. How things slide down that slope I don't know. I don't have the excuse that I was trying to tell a story as beautiful as Mozart's.

About my own mother. She's not one that most would call a great leader, but she's someone I've been trying to study and figure out for a very long time. I read something a few months ago that opened my eyes to her leadership a bit, and I wish I had written it down, but as it stands I'll have to try to find it again. I don't remember her ever being like Muti, or most of those conductors. I would put her in the category of the last Bernstein clip. I don't remember a lot of lectures or instruction from her during our growing up years (maybe she's rolling her eyes right now at my great memory), but like the orchestra, I guess we knew what was expected, how to make it great, and we did it. And she has five awesome children to show for it.

I am not that parent! And far too many days I find myself sweating by the end. Do I look at the "trombones" too much?

I don't know if I'll ever be a Berstein, but maybe I can at least make it to Kleiber.

"You have the plan in your head, you know what to do, and you become a partner to create the sound as you take the ride."

"When it's needed, the authority is there." (Poor trumpet guy!)

"He's there 100%, but not commanding, not telling what to do. Rather enjoying what the soloist is doing."

Thank goodness tomorrow is another day. There's always another concert to play. It's their story that needs to be nurtured and told, not mine. Hopefully the conductor shows up more prepared. At least they haven't fired me yet!

(For your viewing enjoyment, here's the full version of that last Bernstein clip.)

Super, Middle, and Falling Stars

I read Monday Morning Leadership by David Cottrell this past week (about time, since I borrowed it from someone over 6 months ago, and he has since moved, so now I get to mail it to him). This book contains a lot of great leadership suggestions in a very clear, concise format.

From the time I officially started learning about leadership when I went to Wood Badge as a participant, I was easily able to see how the lessons taught could be applied not only to the scouting 'teams' I worked with, but my family as well. This book was no different. It is intended for teams at work, but it brought out something really interesting that is definitely one of my family leadership weaknesses.

Cottrell talks about how there are three types of members on our teams - superstars (those who want to do their very best), middle stars (working along, but not superstars), and falling stars (those doing as little as they can to get by) - and that our tendency is to pile more on the superstars because we know they'll do it, and reward our falling stars with less, while still allowing that their lesser standard is acceptable. More encouragement and praise is given to middle and falling stars. I'm sure you are seeing what is wrong with this picture. Unfortunately, when superstars realize the treatment they receive vs. middle and falling stars, they lower their expectations and perform where they are going to get recognition.

Rather than spilling my terrible flaws, I'll let you think about how your own experience applies to that. I took plenty of notes on many other areas I can improve like focusing on the 'main thing' and being sure the team knows what that is, giving feedback, and using my time (and others' time) wisely.