UNITY - Women Are That They Might Have Joy

I had the lovely opportunity to teach Relief Society last Sunday.  It was extra special with it being Mother's Day, since so many extras got to join in our discussion (the young men and young women took over their classes for the day).  Here is pretty much the whole long gist of the lesson.  (Personally, I hate long blog posts, so really, don't even feel like you have to read this.  I wanted it here for myself.)

As women, our nature is to love and serve others, and we have so many opportunities for that all around us.  But Satan also knows our nature, and he does all he can to get us to go against our nature – judging, gossiping, distractions, busyness, etc.

BUT - women are that they might have JOY!  When we participate in those kinds of things we aren't feeling joy.  When we are loving and serving each other, and feeling more UNITY with one another, that's when feelings of joy come.

From Henry B. Eyring “Our Hearts Knit as One” (pulled from throughout the talk):

“We see increased conflict between peoples in the world around us. Those divisions and differences could infect us. That is why my message of hope today is that a great day of unity is coming. The Lord Jehovah will return to live with those who have become His people and will find them united, of one heart, unified with Him and with our Heavenly Father.”

“The Lord’s prophets have always called for unity. The need for that gift to be granted to us and the challenge to maintain it will grow greater in the days ahead, in which we will be prepared as a people for our glorious destiny.”

“The miracle of unity is being granted to us as we pray and work for it in the Lord’s way. Our hearts will be knit together in unity. God has promised that blessing to His faithful Saints whatever their differences in background and whatever conflict rages around them.” 

“The reason that we pray and ask for that blessing is the same reason the Father is granting it. We know from experience that joy comes when we are blessed with unity. We yearn, as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, for that joy which we once had with Him in the life before this one. His desire is to grant us that sacred wish for unity out of His love for us.”

(This is key ----->) “He cannot grant it to us as individuals. The joy of unity He wants so much to give us is not solitary. We must seek it and qualify for it with others. It is not surprising then that God urges us to gather so that He can bless us. …  We can pray and work for the unity that will bring us joy and multiply our power to serve.”

We talked about why unity is important, and the kinds of acts, even small acts, that create feelings of unity.  (A smile, quick phone call, unexpected treat, crying together, visiting teaching, service, etc. - there were many more.)

Dallin H. Oaks “Desire”

“What we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.”

(I love this---->) “To achieve our eternal destiny, we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being.  For example, eternal beings forgive all who have wronged them.  They put the welfare of others ahead of themselves.  And they love all of God’s children.  If this seems too difficult—and surely it is not easy for any of us—then we should begin with a desire for such qualities and call upon our loving Heavenly Father for help with our feelings.  The Book of Mormon teaches us that we should “pray unto the Father will all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (and to continue Moroni 7:48…) “that when he shall appear we shall be like him.”

“It is our actions and our desires that cause us to become something.”

Then we discussed the results of having a relationship where trust, love, friendship, and unity is felt.  (You don't feel alone, feel supported, know you have someone you can call on for help, burdens are lighter, etc. - again, the very few I can remember.)

In our church, we have formal assignments to care for one another through visiting teaching and callings.

Julie Beck taught at a recent training that we should “count the caring.”  That visiting teaching isn't about marking off each of the little check boxes (went with a partner, gave a lessons, etc.), but about really caring for one another.  Visiting teaching is a system to love and nurture each women in the gospel.  It is a system of watchcare.

Pres. Henry B. Eyring on Visiting Teaching - “Each time you and your companion prepare to go visiting teaching, you just need to remember what success will be. It will be more than getting in the door. It will be more than giving a message. It will be more than asking how you can help. Success will come perhaps only after many visits. And you may not in this world see the evidence that you have succeeded. But you can feel by the Spirit if you are on the way.”

A few things to think about while trying to create meaningful relationships where we can feel unity:

- Do you know basic details about them?

- Are you helping to bring the spirit into their life?

- What impressions do you get about their well-being?

- Are you pondering ways to strengthen them both before and after you visit?

- How do they strengthen you?

- Do you pray to know and love her?

Spencer W. Kimball “The Role of Righteous Women” Ensign, November 1979

“Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different-in happy ways-from the women of the world.”

That quote has been given many many times, but it needs to be shared yet again.  If we are succumbing to Satan's tools against women, we aren't being "distinct and different-in happy ways," we are following the world.  When we do seek for unity,  as new sisters join with us (at least four definitions of "new"), they will see and feel that unity, but rather than feeling left out, they will feel drawn into it.  That rather than keeping them on the outside, we will gather them in.

As RS sisters, we have the amazing opportunity to strengthen one another through welfare and compassionate service.  Think about it!  We go into each other’s homes, provide a meal, help with one another's children, give service, be a friend, show love.

Sister Hinckley, from “Glimpses into the Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley” - “Sisters, we are all in this together.  We need each other.  Oh, how we need each other.  Those of us who are old need you who are young.  And hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old.  It is a sociological fact that women need women…  We need to lock arms and help build the kingdom so that it will roll forth and fill the whole earth.” (also quoted here)

 M. Russell Ballard “Finding Joy Through Loving Service”

“By treating each other kindly, speaking words of support and encouragement, and being sensitive to each other’s needs, we can create loving unity among ward members.  Where charity exists, there is no place for gossip or unkind words.”

Quoting Spencer W. Kimball Elder Ballard said, “It is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. … So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving … help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow … from small but deliberate deeds!”

  

Henry B. Eyring, “Opportunities to Do Good”

Quoting Marion G. Romney “You cannot give yourself poor in this work.”  Quoting Melvin J. Ballard, “A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return.”

Russell M. Nelson, “Face the Future with Faith” 

Each of us is a child of God “with a sacred purpose and potential.  Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed.”

We just need to "lock arms" like Sister Hinckley said with "our hearts knit as one" (Elder Eyring) and do everything we can to strengthen and love one another.

Like one sister shared (can't remember just when she did during the lesson), if she ever had to send one of her children to a place where she knew they would struggle, where they would feel pain, where they would really be challenged and tested, she would want to send her children together so they could help each other through it.  And that's exactly what our Heavenly Father did for us - he sent us together.

THANK GOODNESS!

Scriptures with Children - Final Thoughts

The ultimate goal in reading the scriptures with your children is to help get the gospel into their hearts. Even if they have hundreds of scriptures memorized in their heads, if it doesn't get into their hearts it won't matter. That's why we pray before we begin - so the spirit can be there with us.

When we put on the whole armour of God we only get one weapon - the sword of truth. What sound does the sword of truth make when it's unsheathed? An unzipping noise!

From President Henry B. Eyring:

“Whether what you do is to correct or to teach the gospel of Jesus Christ, you will do it better if you remember what success will be. You are to help Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, make eternal life possible for those you serve. To do that, the Spirit must take a testimony down into their hearts. And that testimony has to lead them to choose to keep the commandments of God, whatever storms and temptations may come.

“With that in mind, the Spirit will guide you in teaching.”

Old Brother Higgins built a shelf
For the old family Bible to rest itself,
Lest a sticky finger or a grimy thumb
Might injure the delicate pages some.
He cautioned his children to touch it not,
And it rests there with never a blot,
Though the Higgins tribe was a troublesome lot.

His neighbor, Miggins, built a shelf.
"Come, children," he said, "and help yourself."
Now his book is old and ragged and worn,
With some of the choicest pages torn,
Where children have fingered, and thumbed, and read,
But of the Miggins children I've heard it said,
That each carries a Bible in his head.

Get reading!

Scriptures with Children - How We Do It

We start our scripture reading with music. We've got a stereo with a timer on it, so I set it to got off at scripture time and let the music call everyone to scriptures. It was a huge help when we started our latest push to read the scriptures almost a year and a half ago. The music reminded me on days when I wasn't thinking about it, and helped make it a habit. It also helps to set the tone, and gives the kids a couple minutes to finish what they're doing and gather. When people start getting slow, I will give a surprise reward (small treat or something) for those that show up on time.

We start with a prayer, and read together for about 20 minutes, taking turns as we go. Even the two littlest get their turn, repeating a few words at a time after me.

When we're done with our reading, we work on memorizing a scripture. Our original goal was one a month, and we were doing it so the kids could learn the Articles of Faith, but they learned those surprisingly fast working on them just a couple minutes a day, and we just kept going. In about 14 months we've learned 28 scriptures, involving about 38 verses.

I got a new perspective on our memorization a few months ago when Jamie read President Benson's vision of flooding the earth with the Book of Mormon during family home evening:

“I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world."

Adam has seven years left before he turns 19. I wonder how many we'll have by then. We just finished learning the purposes of the Aaronic Priesthood, we'll do the Young Women's Theme sometime, and we keep talking about doing the Family Proclamation. So far the hardest to learn (I never got really good at it) was Alma 7:11-12. If you memorize it really well let me know the trick.

The cool thing with memorizing scriptures is that even if the kids aren't listening to anything else in church, when they hear a scripture they've memorized they'll look over at me and mouth the words. Of course I make a mental note of the scripture and what they were talking about that included it, and we can talk about it when they get home.

I'll finish this off with a few final thoughts next.

Scriptures with Children - GOALS & OPTIONS

There are a variety of goals you can work towards in reading scriptures with your children, and deciding yours will help make your scripture time more beneficial.

Do you want them to be familiar with scripture stories? Then using the scripture stories for children are fine, or jumping from story to story in the scriptures. Ask the kids what their favorites are and read them. Go in order, or don't worry about the order.

Do you want them to be able to read well from the scriptures? The language of the scriptures is definitely different. If you want them to be able to read them well, you need to have them reading in the scriptures.

Do you want to be consecutive, reading every day? If that is your goal, then what you read or how much you read might not be a factor, as long as you read something.

Do you want to finish in a certain amount of time? In August 2005 President Hinckley gave a challenge to members of the LDS church to read the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. If you want to set a goal with a time factor in it, figure out how much you need to read daily and run with it.

Determining your scripture reading goals is a huge help in deciding just what direction you need to take, and also helps in deciding just what you'll read. There are a variety of options really.

When the boys were very young we started with the scriptures stories books for children. We really enjoyed that time and it helped them learn the stories in the scriptures. It got to the point that I felt like they were missing out on the power of the words in the scriptures, things like "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded," so we switched to the real deal. I wish someone had told me it was okay to jump from story to story back then, because I think if we did that we would have stuck with it better. But we didn't, so it stopped being fun for the kids and we got out of the habit.

Another option is to read talks from the most recent general conference. Buy each of the kids their own copy of the conference issue of the Ensign, and choose a day or two each week to read from it.

Use your scripture reading time as an opportunity to teach them about the scriptures. Teach your children to use the topical guide and read by topic, read from the Bible dictionary, or learn the songs that teach the books of scripture in order. Some neighbors of ours are reading from the True to the Faith book and discussing it with their children.

Now that some of our kids are older and some young, I've had to do some reevaluating. We read from the scriptures together as a family in the morning. The two youngest are in and out, and don't listen to much of what we read. I finally realized that I need to start from the beginning with them too, so I've been reading to them from the scripture stories books at night. They LOVE it.

To help children be familiar with the scriptures, draw a simple picture next to the stories so they can find them on their own, like a flag next to the verses about the title of liberty, a sheep next to the story of Ammon, and a bow and arrow next to where Nephi breaks his bow.

Next: how it "looks" in our home.

Scriptures with Children - WHY?

I gave a talk last night for our Relief Society on reading scriptures with young children, getting them excited about the scriptures, etc. I thought it might be fun to share on here.

First of all, why does it even matter? Even after being diligent about this for over a year, the kids still have their whiney moments or choose to disrupt. Every so often when it gets really bad I make them chant, "We're doing this every day! We're doing this every day!" It's as much for me as it is for them, reminding myself that even though it feels like nobody wants to do this and nobody seems to care, we need to keep going.

From President Ezra Taft Benson:

“I challenge all of us to prayerfully consider steps that we can personally take to bring this new witness for Christ more fully into our own lives and into a world that so desperately needs it.

“I have a vision of homes alerted, of classes alive, and of pulpits aflame with the spirit of Book of Mormon messages.

“I have a vision of thousands of missionaries going into the mission field with hundreds of passages memorized from the Book of Mormon so that they might feed the needs of a spiritually famished world.

“I have a vision of the whole Church getting nearer to God by abiding by the precepts of the Book of Mormon.

“Indeed, I have a vision of flooding the earth with the Book of Mormon.”

From Gordon B. Hinckley:

“A week ago a conference of the young women was held in this tabernacle. It was an inspiration to look into their faces, thousands of them. One could not do so without a feeling of peace and certitude concerning the future of this work. The theme of the conference was an appeal to the young women to read the scriptures.

“I look back to my own youth. Neither young men nor young women were doing much scripture reading at that time. What a marvelous change has been wrought. A new generation is arising who are familiar with the word of the Lord.”

From Boyd K. Packer:

"The plan designed by the Father contemplates that man and woman, husband and wife, working together, fit each child individually with a shield of faith made to buckle on so firmly that it can neither be pulled off nor penetrated by those fiery darts.

“This shield of faith is not manufactured on an assembly line, only handmade in a cottage industry. Therefore our leaders press members to understand that what is most worth doing must be done at home.”

From Marion G. Romney:

"And so, I counsel you, my beloved brothers and sisters and friends everywhere, to make reading in the Book of Mormon a lifelong practice... I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to that counsel. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity - the pure love of Christ - will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness."

To be quite honest, we don't have angels singing in the background in our home, but I do feel like our children are getting their own testimonies, and that our family is blessed for our efforts.

The prophet Haggai rebuked the people with a description of scarcity, saying that the Lord had this message for them: “Now therefore thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways. Ye have sown much, and bring in little; ye eat, but ye have not enough; ye drink, but ye are not filled with drink; ye clothe you, but there is none warm; and he that earneth wages…put[s] it into a bag with holes. Thus saith the Lord of hosts; Consider your ways” (Haggai 1:5-7).

The people had poured their efforts into projects that had not paid off. Even when it gets hard, reading the scriptures in our home is something that will pay off. It definitely takes commitment and sometimes even creativity to make it happen, but we’ve been given promises by prophets that it will be worthwhile. Doesn’t make it easy, but we do have that promise.

Hebrews 10:35-37 states “Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompense of reward. For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”

I've got a neighbor that tested the "spirit of contention will depart" promise. She told me they were having one of those night where it feels like everyone is grumpy. She finally told everyone to go grab their scriptures, it was scripture time. They moaned and groaned, but they gathered together and read a chapter. "Are we done?" she asked after each chapter. If there was any griping, they kept going. After four chapters everyone was calm again, the spirit was back, and they stopped.

Trust in the promises of the prophets, and get started!

Next - what are your scripture goals?

Bison vs. Wolves

A few weeks ago we watched a movie about Yellowstone, and there were a few lines that made me grab the laptop to get them down. They were talking about how things have been going since wolves were reintroduced, how the wolf packs hunt in their own very specific territories, and how one pack especially is very good at taking down bison.

Narrator: "If a bison stands it's ground it has a much better chance of survival."

Cool Cowboy Ranger: "It's actually easier for a wolf to kill an animal running away from it than if it stands its ground. It's very difficult if the prey faces the wolf. Wolves don't like that."

Very powerful imagery. Usually we hear about wolves in sheeps clothing, coming to slyly make away with their prey, and certainly that happens. Much of what deceives is not easy to spot, or enters so secretly that it's a problem before we hardly know it's there. But with so much in the world that IS easy to see, it was nice to watch how the hunt works in regards to bison, which stands its ground. Good reminder to put on the whole armor of God, and stand.

Perfect Post for Easter

You have to read this.

'Nuff said.

P.S. on Time

Okay, so I wrote that last post, went to work on some jewelry orders (Easter is coming) and couldn't stop thinking about time. So here are a few more thoughts.

We know we all have the same amount of time, and that it is our choice on how we use it. Yes we are busy, but I doubt there is anyone out there that doesn't have SOME free time they have a choice over.

During my brother's 2nd tour of duty in Afghanistan I remember something my sis-in-law (his wife) said about the soldiers - that what they do with their free time largely determines who they are when they get back. I know two people that made poor choices with that time, and they and their families have suffered because of it. Every letter we got from my brother was inspiring. I know he spent his time well.

How am I using my time?

We give our lives to that which we give our time.

With so many people demanding my time, I've tried to cut out more and more extras that I know don't benefit me or my family. Some of those are actually things, because it takes time to take care of things, and I've noticed a big difference because of their absence. I've also cut out some time wasters, and again I've noticed a difference. Unfortunately, other things are always trying to jump in to fill the void.

A cluttered life is a life that you do not have control of. It is a life in which the things you have surrounded yourself with, and allow to use up your time, are controlling you and negatively influencing your happiness and eternal progress.

I've heard in so many instances that when you're trying to get rid of a bad habit, you need to replace it with a good habit. I didn't think about that applying until now, but I've had some not so busy afternoons when the house is decently clean, the kids aren't needing me for a few moments, and I find myself wondering what to do with myself. My first inclination is to use that time to study something or to read, and it's always a pleasure, knowing I'm doing it without taking away from anything else. I must admit that the computer is always a draw and it's easy to rationalize that I need to check on orders and such. But being honest to myself, a time waster.

A mother should never allow herself to become so involved with extras that she finds herself neglecting her divine role.

(He shares more on mothers and fathers, but you can look that up.)

Are my 'basics' being taken care of? Are the things I truly value the first things I spend my time on? I truly believe, more than ever, that I can have help answering this, and making changes as necessary.

Quotes from Elder William R. Bradford, "Unclutter Your Life." I plan on reading his talk a lot more closely.