Book Review: Little Women

I love "Little Women." I've been basking in the glow of its wonderfulness since I finished it a couple weeks ago. This is the first book I've wanted to study deeply and write about since graduating from Utah State 10 years ago (no, this isn't that). It is on my list of books I want to study for the rest of my life.

In a very small nutshell, this book is about values, and most especially, family values. I found the simple teachings to be deeply refreshing.

"Learn to know and value the praise which is worth having."
"Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault."
"Trifles show character."
"A woman's happiest kingdom is home, her highest honor the art of ruling it not as a queen, but as a wise wife and mother."
"Principles...may seem like prison walls to impatient youth, but will prove sure foundations to build character upon."

Mrs. March is a wise mother in every way. One of my favorite passages comes after Meg has been out with friends and overhears her friend's mother gossiping about the "plans" Mrs. March has put into play for her daughters by encouraging them to be close to their wealthy neighbor and his grandson. Meg is upset by the assumption, and upon arriving home and discussing it with her mother, she eventually asks her if she does have "plans" for them.

"Yes, my dear, I have a great many; all mothers do, but mine differ somewhat from Mrs. Moffat's. . . I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. . . My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world--marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting. . . I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace."

Mrs. March's words, actions, and example were perfect to help her daughters reach that vision. Her wisdom and teaching to help them reach it were so pure, I underlined just about everything she says. Her determination in this shows by how firmly she has trained herself. Apparently she had a temper of her own like Jo's, till she finally decided "I must try to practice all the virtues I would have my little girls possess, for I was their example. . . The love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy."

Funny, the week after I finished "Little Women" I read a little snippet about an article where the author calls it not only "stale" and ranks it with other "badly written" books, but he also says it's "a little creepy." No, I am not bitter. Just sad that those of lesser vision don't realize the beauty of this book.

I could say much more about it, but suffice it to say, I definitely definitely definitely recommend it.

P.S. Just found this review that has a lot of good points as well.

Family - Our Great Work

"Families mean work, but they are our great work--and we are not afraid of work."

Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President

Love that! Sister Beck's talk from the General Relief Society meeting has a lot of great quotes in it, but I really enjoy this one. It's funny in a way when people are disgruntled about the roles of wife or mother, like it's all supposed to be hearts and flowers. It's definitely a bonus when the people you care about say things like "I love you Mom!" and clean up their rooms without being told, but since the kids get together and decide when our yearly alottment of "Mommy Perks" happen so we just get enough to keep us going and THAT'S IT, then we go through a lot of droughts.

Somewhere in there a girl's got to find her own successes. Like you walk through the house and there's only one pair of someone's underwear in the hallway, or the kids start a pillow fight and after the warning "you guys better quit now because you know someone's going to end up bawling," no one does!

After the newborn six week crash course of, "Whoa! This isn't easy!" sometimes we quickly get lulled back into parental naivety. Then they start to crawl, then they start to walk, then two's hit, then another stage, and another. Sometimes with a break in between, sometimes daily, several TIMES a day, or several stages all fighting to be the biggest worst stage all at the same time! Ever wish you could go back to the ignorant bliss when you knew it all before you had children?

A scripture hit me like a ton of bricks one day. It had been a particularly rough day with one particularly rough kid. I flipped open the scriptures that night and my eyes fell on Doctrine and Covenants 82:3, "To him unto whom much is given much is required." Talk about a big dose of perspective. I HAVE been given much, and if I can trust Doctrine & Covenants 64:3, "Be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great," then that solidifies Sister Beck's statement even more. If I can just keep on working at laying that foundation, I can't wait to see who all my "much is givens" grow up to be.

But on to marriage. I pity the person that thinks marriage should be all play and no work, because it's highly likely they will be very unhappy in marriage. I'm not saying that work means always doing everything for your spouse, but it does mean picking up someone else's socks once in a while, helping out with the dishes, or biting back a snide remark all in the name of keeping the peace. An even better kind of work involves taking a moment to do something kind like walking a cup of hot chocolate down to the frozen basement where your husband is working, or bringing home a favorite ice cream and dishing it up for just the two of you to share. Maybe those things are even more important when you're having an "I love you but I'm not exactly sure if I like you" moment. A bit of kindness and consideration goes a long way with us imperfect beings. Remember, do this in the right spirit, purely to delight and not to show, "See, I'm the good one." Don't forget, "Be not weary in well-doing."

I have to amen another statement Sister Beck makes in regards to women and family. "When women embrace those roles with all their hearts, they are happy!" (exclamation point not added). Any time I get grumpy about the day-to-day I realize I'm focusing on me. "I don't even have time to ________," (insert take a shower, make anything but mac 'n cheese, blog, etc.) or "I just wish I could have ___ minutes of peace!" Too bad the number-of-years-old = number-of-time-out-minutes formula doesn't apply when you're a mother, but selfishness never was happiness. Truly, I am never more happy than when I forget myself and give my very best to my family. Not my leftovers, but my very best.

We are soooo not perfect. I lose my cool, my house is never clean, my husband says things like man b... nevermind, I'm not even going to say it, but I tried to give him that "Oh brother I can't believe you said that" look but I lost it and laughed instead. A lot. So yah, not perfect. But I think we're going in the right direction. As long as he keeps bringing me ice cream and I keep on working.

Drooling on the Keyboard

*Fellow Chocoholics! - I've had a lot of people finding my blog while searching for these truffles. Read this update, it might help you find some!*

I've got this empty box sitting in front of me, and I just spent about 10 minutes digging for info on where I can find more to fill it. The name on the box is "Petit Tresors Belgian Truffles - Cocoa Dusted Truffles, Imported from Belgium." The epitome of divine. 2.2 lbs of heaven in a box. I am not the only one who feels this way. While looking I found this from someone else: "Obscene, melt in your mouth, unparalleled for the price decadence. Get some, eat them, want for nothing again as long as you live...or until they run out."

How they came to live at our home for a time is interesting. About 9 months ago a scouter friend of ours talked Jamie and I into filling out an application for the District Award of Merit for the other. I thought it was pretty inconvenient at the time, since when he first asked me I had a baby less than a week old, but I recalled as many of Jamie's scouting accomplishments as I could and turned it in. And unknown to me, Jamie did as well for me. A few days after turning them in we each heard the other had been chosen to receive the award, and we each set about sneakily getting the other to attend the district awards dinner where they would be presented. We were each even sly enough to come up with ways to get both of our parents there. Amazingly enough, it remained a secret that we were BOTH getting the award (to us at least), and we were both equally surprised. They read my information first and I quickly realized what had been plotted. We went through a line of hand shaking, were seated on the stage, and after a few lines of the next application Jamie realized he had been had as well.

It was a real honor to receive the award, and cool that we both received it the same night, but here's what I don't get. The wives of the recipients received a lovely bouquet of flowers, the husbands of the recipients received nothing other than this HUGE box of Belgian truffles. WHAT?!? Seeing as how I benefitted on both sides I guess I can't complain too much, but any woman I know would have been far happier with the chocolate than the flowers. Not that flowers aren't nice, but flowers die in days. Eight months later, and we still have some of the truffles around. Hello, women NEED chocolate. Don't people know that by now??? And of course he looooves to hold it over my head that they are his, and especially right after getting them he thought it was hilarious to tell me to "go smell your flowers" while he enjoyed his chocolate. My pitiful attempts to let him smell them if he shared was the weakest trade I've ever heard. Thank goodness he loves me.

It actually contained two separate packages, so we slowly enjoyed the first, and have been hording away the second until a couple of days ago when I talked Jamie in to opening them (after all, they are HIS). Unfortunately, we turned off our air conditioner during a trip away for a week in April, the house got quite warm during that time, and now we pretty much have one giant truffle, no longer really cocoa dusted. Disappointing in that respect, but still luxurious.

And yet I am concerned. Eventually this package too will be gone, and I have no idea where I can get more. There is a web address on the package, but it doesn't work. I hear this past year they were sold at Sam's Club for something like $10, which take my word for it, $10 is a STEAL for these things. I saw some on eBay around Christmas but stupidly kept looking for them locally instead of just buying. Rest assured this search is not over. It may even become my life's quest - to find the ellusive Petit Tresors Cocoa Dusted Belgian Truffles. If I find them I will share it with the world. If you find them, please pass it on and I will be forever in your debt.