But... How Do You Know?

Every time someone starts asking me questions about homeschooling, there is one question that always - ALWAYS - comes up.  Something to the gist of...

"But how do you know your kids are getting what they are supposed to?"

I was recently in the middle of one of those homeschool conversations, and the person was genuinely interested.  Questions were coming one after the other as they reconciled their own school experience with what I was telling them, but the question eventually came.

"But how do you know?"

I gave my usual about how I'm with them all the time so I know what they do and don't do, their strengths and weaknesses, yada yada blah blah blah, which is all entirely true.  But it wasn't until the car ride home that the real answer came to me.  What I should have replied with is,

"How do YOU know?"

Doctrine and Covenants 88:77-80 states:

77 And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.

78 Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

79 Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

80 That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you.

The way I understand this, if I am teaching my children, I will be blessed to understand the things I need to to perform my mission as their mother and as their mentor.  Likewise, in doing my part, I will help them learn what they need to know and understand for their missions as well.

I can't tell my children what their mission is any more than the school can.  But there's a difference - at school they have all these tests of what kids at certain grade levels are "supposed" to know at that point.  At home I may not have all the state tests, but I am with my children daily, I know and love them as individuals, and what the schools say my children need to know isn't important to me.  What is important to me is that I know that each of them has a mission in life to fulfill, and that I have the amazing opportunity to help them prepare and work towards that mission.

When my second son was struggling with math one year, the daily homework was a variety of review problems.  I talked to his teacher about getting practice problems on things they were studying in class so I could help him learn and review it at home, and was surprised at how mystified the teacher was by the idea.  Turns out, the regular daily homework was getting them ready for the end of year test.  Rather than focusing on mastering what they were learning right then, they were worried about preparing the kids for the test.

I know what my children are getting because I can take all the time I want to help them master the things they are learning.

At school, also because of those tests, the teachers teach less and less of the "extras" that don't fit in the realm of those tests.  My children have time to learn any of the extras they like, and they want to, and they do.

How do you know what your children are being taught?

I am in my children's classroom every day. I know what their textbooks teach.  Did you know that because of theophobia, plenty of textbooks teach that the pilgrims came to American because they were mad at the king, or just because they wanted to?  The fact is, they came because they wanted to worship God as they chose, because in England, they couldn't.  It was a religious decision, pure and simple, but in schools, religion isn't allowed.  I can testify about God's hand in history or science or literature or anything anytime I want to.  I can share the testimonies of the Founding Fathers and Christopher Columbus regarding God's hand in their efforts.  I can compare scripture stories and principles to other things we learn.

I'm not sharing this to say our way is better than sending your children to school every day, but so you can think about the same question every homeschooler gets asked.  I believe it is equally important for all parents.

So... how do you know your kids are getting what they are supposed to?

Tough Chicks

After a wild and crazy day at the zoo (where there was an attempted attack on Erin and my nephew by a baby Siamese Crocodile and the tigers were more playful than we've ever seen them), we had dinner, the two middle girls had a bath, and we pulled out a couple of library books to read.

I picked up the first one, a book called "Tough Chicks" that Carolyn had checked out. When I started to read, I quickly got the feeling that I would be getting more out of the book than they would.

Not that it isn't a light, fun story. Three baby girl chicks are born and immediately prove to not be the normal variety of chicks. They do all sorts of wild things, getting into things they aren't supposed to, doing things they shouldn't.

"Make them be good!" called the animals.
"They are good!" Mama Hen clucked.
But sometimes even she worried.

I had to chuckle at one page in particular because I'd had a similar experience today at the zoo. When we go, we always joke that they zookeepers are going to think Carolyn is one of the monkeys and try to keep her there. She will usually ask a zookeeper if she can have a monkey, and when they say no, she'll ask if she can pet one (she hasn't talked anyone into it yet). She thinks the whole place is one giant jungle gym. In several areas of the zoo they have guardrails in front of the cages that are perfect for swinging on, and she sits, hangs, flips, and sometimes flops on them. Today we went with my two sisters and their kids, and as Carolyn was swinging away on one of them, my niece, who had been told not to do that, walked over to me and said, "Isn't she supposed to stop doing that?" I didn't respond, thinking, "But she's so GOOD at it!"

In the book, one of the three chicks likes to swing off the cow's tail, and after one particularly wild swing which causes the other chicks to run for cover, Mama Hen calls to her to be careful, then adds quietly to herself, "Nice form."

When a crisis happens on the farm, they are the ones to come to the rescue and save the day.  Happily ever after and all that.

This book is a treasure. A wonderful reminder for this mom that I have good kids too. They may be wild, loud, boisterous, active, nutty, playful, and disruptive, but they are good kids. And I can't wait to see what all that craziness becomes. If I'm still sane by then.

Tricks, Traps, and Huh?

I've written before about how much I enjoy cleaning my house. I look back at the days when it was just Jamie and I, and wonder how in the world I ever got behind in it back then. Then again, my "getting behind" then is a lot different than my "getting behind" now. Then we would get busy with school and after a week or two decide that things were getting out of hand and needed some touching up. Now, one busy day, even a half a busy day, can leave the entire place shot. It's a conspiracy!

When I really can't work myself up to start cleaning, sometimes a little game will come into my head to play while I clean. Almost like talking to myself, only different.

Today as I was dragging myself to the sink to do dishes I noticed a piece of hard candy on the counter, unwrapped it, and popped it into my mouth. Then the thought came, "Clean as long as it takes to melt that in your mouth." Voila! Like Mary Poppin's spoonful of sugar, it helped the medicine of cleaning go down. "In every job that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and SNAP! The job's a game!" What a wise woman Mary Poppins is. And since many times I just need to get my motor going, the candy game was enough to do that. I didn't even realize when it was gone! But when I did notice, I was already seeing the good results of my efforts and kept moving (till I stopped to blog about it).

Another starter for the day was writing on facebook, "I am such an amazing person! I can think of at least 684 things to do besides clean the house. Any independently wealthy people out there want to send a maid over for me?" As soon as I clicked the "share" button, I thought, "What if one of my friends and neighbors reads that, thinks, gee, sounds like Marni could really use some help today, and actually comes over to help. How embarrassing would that be?" That thought sent me on another cleaning frenzy.

Unfortunately, distractions abound around here, and some days it seems that I hardly get going before someone or something stops the progress. Today it was Madeleine getting a big bonk on the head, after which I held and loved her for about an hour. But somewhere I remember hearing that the distractions in life are life, so here's to the distractions.

Something else struck me the other day. I was looking at a picture taken of me in our kitchen the month before I turned 16. I hadn't noticed much about the picture except me before, but this time I noticed a kitchen chair showing in the picture. I stared at it, digging in years of unused memories, and for the life of me, I do not remember those kitchen chairs. (Coincidentally, I mentioned it to my sister today who would have been 9 at the time and she did.) We moved a month later and a new dining set was purchased, so those are what I remember. I've heard it said before that kids don't remember the mess, they remember what you did with them, how they were loved, etc. etc. So by golly, if I can't even remember chairs I probably sat on for the first almost 16 years of my life, yet I do remember a lot of really fun things, I guess that's got to be true and it's most important to enjoy being with your family instead of stressing over the mess. Then again, I don't remember Disneyland. But that's another point for another day.

Journaling

Wanted to share an update on my journal. I'm still journaling my random and sometimes more personal thoughts and love it when I do. It's so much nicer journaling thoughts and ideas rather than "went to the store, ate some lunch, cleaned the house, my life is so boring" kinds of things. Sometimes there is a bit of traveloging, but only if there is a purpose behind it.

I've been reading A Two-Part Invention by Madeleine L'Engle right now, which makes me want to journal even more often. It's the story of her marriage to her husband, Hugh Franklin, and a beautiful story at that. Much of the story is refreshed through her journals, and she shares direct quotes from it. Things like this, that she wrote while they were apart for a few weeks in separate plays:

"But the wonderful thing, whether we are together or apart, is to know that he is in the world, and that we belong together."

Loved that, especially since my husband travels off and on.

Something else from the book, after she shares a few simple stories:

"As I recorded such small events in my journal I was, in effect, writing my own story."

So maybe that means I should write more stories down... I'll think about it. Frankly, anything is an improvement over nothing, and the fact that I'm still going at it means that I'm doing something right.

I was talking about journal writing with someone one day and mentioned that I write in pencil. She reprimanded me for that, and told me from personal experience that pen is always best. So I found a pen that I like and I guess whoever picks up my journal someday will have to see my scribbling out.

It's different writing by hand than it is typing things up. I like the quick and easy editing factor of typing, and that it's faster all around (for me). But maybe that's why writing is different - more thought because editing is harder and because the process is slower.

Journaling is nice too, because I don't stew (as much) over what I wrote after I close my journal. I edit and reedit when I'm blogging, finally click "publish," and about an hour later, think of all kinds of things I should have included in the post. Just for fun, anything I come up with to add to this I'll add to the comments. But just watch - then it won't happen.

Just Kick Me

My mom has made a few comments about me not keeping up on this for a while. Sorry! I'm trying to be inspired, I promise. But I'm also trying to catch up from all the things I had to do a few weeks ago and was so busy getting ready for that I couldn't spare any brain cells for blogging a few weeks before the few weeks. Besides, she shouldn't be encouraging me to blog - she's seen my house.

But to throw out something for fun, I got to meet a wonderful online friend in person a couple weeks ago. It was a crazy visit, involving our combined 11 children plus several others (most were swimming), so thank goodness for the husbands and uncle that were there to play with them while we attempted to chat in the chaos of it all. We'll definitely have to do it again in three years! :)

One Line

One line from Sister Julie Beck's conference talk:

"There is much distraction and not enough peace and joy."

Every time I hear or read that again I think, "I KNOW!" This past week has especially felt like a very ADHD one for me. Going/thinking/getting pulled in all kinds of directions, no focus whatsoever. It is not a peaceful feeling.

A few days ago I was especially disturbed by it all. Driving somewhere I was trying to think of what I needed to do to center myself, and had the thought to stop thinking about myself and think about someone else. I didn't come up with anyone until I drove past the office my sister works at and realized that I hadn't stopped by to say hi for a few months. When I drove past it again on my way home, I pulled in and chatted with her for a bit. And it helped.

The next day I was making rolls and decided that I should drop some off to my other sister. That helped too.

I can thus deduce that service is one thing that helps me feel more peace and joy. I actually have a quote hanging on my cupboard door that was put there a long time ago to remind me of this:

"Never suppress a generous thought."

My biggest distraction lately is the greatness of others. I love to read about great things people are doing because it is inspiring! But I've noticed that rather than inspiring me to be more of my own kind of greatness, I become distracted from that, wondering if I should be doing what they are doing, or kicking myself because I'm not doing what they are doing.

I was going to post links to some of those things but I don't want to.

Instead, here's a reminder for myself, even if it's only myself. For every great thing that I see others doing that I currently am not doing, or try to do but really struggle with, I know people that I love and admire that also do not have those qualities. Some of them are the very opposite of those qualities (like me), yet they are incredible people that have wonderful children and they should probably have already been translated, but thank goodness they haven't because then I couldn't love and admire them nearly as closely and easily. TA DA!!!

The lesson in all that is that I need to stop being distracted by everything I'm not doing. I was sent here with my own package of talents and my own mission to fulfill. Theirs is not mine, mine is not theirs. I need to be "distinct and different--in happy ways," not the same and discouraged. My family will be blessed when I'm working on those things, because then I WILL be feeling the "peace and joy" Sister Beck talked about, and will then share that with them.

I read the rest of her talk again and found some more especially applicable quotes.

"A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources... But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently."

"Good women always have a desire to know if they are succeeding. In a world where the measures of success are often distorted, it is important to seek appreciation and affirmation from proper sources. To paraphrase a list found in Preach My Gospel, we are doing well when we develop attributes of Christ and strive to obey His gospel with exactness. We are doing well when we seek to improve ourselves and do our best. We are doing well when we increase faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and seek out and help others who are in need. We know we are successful if we live so that we qualify for, receive, and know how to follow the Spirit. When we have done our very best, we may still experience disappointments, but we will not be disappointed in ourselves. We can feel certain that the Lord is pleased when we feel the Spirit working through us. Peace, joy, and hope are available to those who measure success properly."

Thank you, Sister Beck!

A Challenge - General Conference

We had an INCREDIBLE general conference in April. I've told several people that I don't know why they even watched it, because I'm sure the prophet got a personal phone call and was told that every talk was to be written with me in mind. There was just so so much I needed to hear.

As soon as the audio was available online, I downloaded it all to my iPod and have spent many many middle of the night feedings listening to these great words of counsel. I even created a folder on it and tagged a bunch of them as "Better Mommy" talks so that when I need a boost in that area (truth be told, daily) I can go right there.

Unfortunately, I haven't seen a lot of talk online about things people learned from conference, myself included. I've started several posts on conference related topics but haven't finished them. So I want to send out a challenge to anyone interested. If there was a particular talk/theme/quote/anything/etc. from conference that has lifted you and made you better, I would love to hear about it. Feel free to do more than one even! I always get more out of the talks when I can discuss them with others.

If you'd like, post a link in the comments when you do so my other two readers can enjoy your thoughts as well.

We are the Staff

This is a song we've sang as a staff every year I've been to Wood Badge. I was going to share it with the staff I get to work with this year and went searching online to see if I had all the words right, but came up with nothing! I have no idea where the song came from, who wrote it, or where it started. But I thought I would get it online in case anyone else happened to go looking for it.

WE ARE THE STAFF

We are the staff of Gilwell Troop 1.
We do the work while you have the fun.
We answer questions by the score,
You stay up late to think up more.
We get up early, work hard all day.
You stay up late then come out to play.
What a gravy train you have,
At the expense of, at the expense of,
At the expense of staff!

I have no "this is to the tune of..." tips, so if you'd like to learn it as I learned it, get me your e-mail address and we'll work something out.

And for fun, a few Wood Badge staff pictures.

What can I say, they love me!

Launching water balloons

You can find me since I've got a blue cow blanket keeping the baby (then Erin) warm.

Always follow your Scoutmaster's example (staff jackets are inside out, hats on backwards).

I have no idea who this is...

...or this.

Maybe the flipped version of the "We are the Staff" song (sung towards the end of the week) is appropriate:

We are the staff of Gilwell Troop 1.

You do the work while we have the fun!

You answer questions by the score,

We stay up late to think up more.

You get up early, work hard all day.

We stay up late then come out to play.

What a gravy train we have

At the expense of, at the expense of,

At the expense of YOU!

I LOVE SCOUTING! With this being the 100 year anniversary of the Boy Scouts of America, I definitely need to write more about this. I believe it is an inspired program, designed to guide boys to becoming great men. Thankfully, I get to serve on another Wood Badge staff again this summer, where we train the scout leaders in leadership skills they can then take back to the boys.

Back to Gilwell!!!

WOO HOO!!

Aimee Ray, author of "Doodle Stitching" (thanks again Cindi!) had a giveaway for a new book she's got a project in, and I won!

Check out my name in print (I feel so famous) and my "acceptance speech."

And by the way, she's coming out with another "Doodle Stitching" book in October. The instructions and designs in the first one are wonderful. Can't wait to see round 2.

Liken - David and Goliath

Blanche was climbing on her father's knee, begging for one of his Sunday stories.

The narration, in his low tones, roused [Ethel] from her mood of vexation. It was the story of David, which he told in language scriptural and poetical, so pretty and tender in its simplicity, that she could not choose but attend. Ever and anon there was a glance towards Harry, as if he were secretly likening his own "yellow haired laddied" to the "shepherd boy, ruddy, and of a fair countenance."

"So Tom and Blanche," he concluded, "can you tell me how we may be like the shepherd-boy, David?"

"There aren't giants now," said Tom.

"Wrong is a giant," said his little sister.

"Right, my white May-flower, and what then?"

"We are to fight," said Tom.

"Yes, and mind, the giant with all his armour may be some great thing we have to do: but what did David begin with when he was younger?"

"The lion and the bear."

"Aye, and minding his sheep. Perhaps little things, now you are little children, maybe be like the lion and the bear--so kill them them off--get rid of them--cure yourself of whining or dawdling, or whatever it be, and mind your sheep well," said he, smiling sweetly in answer to the children's earnest looks as they caught his meaning, "and if you do, you will not find it near so hard to deal with your great giant struggle when it comes."

Ah! thought Ethel, it suits me as well as the children. I have a great giant... and here I am, not allowed to attack him, because, perhaps, I am not minding my sheep, and letting my lion and my bear run loose about the house." (pp. 83-84)

[Ethel's] lion and bear . . . were the greatest hindrances to her doing anything good and great." (p. 87)

from "The Daisy Chain" by Mary Charlotte Yonge

Marni Half a Brain

A few months ago Melanie told me something that I thought was incredibly clever.

"Mom, you should be extra smart right now because you have two brains!"

I praised her for great thinking, then explained that unfortunately, half the brain in my head slid down to the baby.

Upon giving birth, this has proven to be true, since I feel like I only have half a brain now.

I've decided that new mommy brain is far worse than preggo brain. I wonder how long it takes for those cells to regenerate... if they do. I think they do, because I remember feeling significantly smarter than I do right now about 10 months ago.

Thank goodness we have plenty of books in my current reading level around here right now, like Hat by Paul Hoppe and a few Elephant and Piggie books by Mo Willems (we love anything Mo Willems).

Maynard

We discovered some ultra super amazingly fun storytelling CDs recently by Willy Claflin. Go right now to your library website and put them on hold.

First we checked out "Uglified Ducky," which I guess is a book as well. The library didn't have the book so I tried the CD. I would still like to read the book sometime, but Mr. Claflin, I mean Maynard Moose, tells it so well that I'm not sure the story would be as good. Though I'm sure the pictures would be fun.

We enjoyed Uglified Ducky so much during our next library trip we had to get the three others they have:

Maynard Moose: Sleeping Beastly and Other Tales
Maynard Moose Tales
The Wolf Under the Bed

Warning #1: Rocky Raccoon sings a song about eating sugar all the time. "When your soul starts to sag, open up yourself a 10 pound bag." So if your children want to try everything they see/hear or if you are religiously opposed to sugar even in jest, skip that one.

Warning #2: Maynard Moose is a very creative speaker, using works like uglified, bandridged (bandaged), demember (remember). We thought it was cool and funny, but thought I would throw that out in case you think you wouldn't.

Warning #3: With these playing in your car, your children might be more distracted by the songs and stories than by which of their siblings is touching them, looking at them, looking out their window, etc. Again I find this a bonus, but realize that some enjoy sibling interaction in all its varieties.