In the Backyard

We've seen some exciting things in the backyard lately! A few weeks ago we were watching a robin in the backyard when Adam pointed and said, "Look at that house!"



Amazingly, Melanie had checked out several bird books at the library that week, so we whipped them out and quickly learned we were looking at a Great Blue Heron. We watched him for quite a while before he flew to the top of the house across the street, then on to another house, and away.



A weekish later a neighbor called and asked if our windows were open. I told her yes, and she said to go look outside. I didn't know what I was looking for, till she told me look up, that there was a hot air balloon outside! We watched it float around for quite awhile.



Then earlier today I noticed some apricots growing on our trees (hooray!) and went to check out a different apricot tree to see if it was too. Right next to it is a skinny pear tree, and I noticed it had a good sized nest in it.



Carolyn was with me, so I sat her on my shoulder and helped her peek in. She said there was an egg! We didn't see any parents around, so I ran in the house to grab the camera and see if we could get a quick peek inside.





Shortly thereafter mommy and daddy robin showed up. Mom headed right for the nest and dad kept watch. Erin headed over to check him out.



Here's another of him patroling. We watched him take on another bird that got a little too close.



Carolyn and I had a great chat about how eggs hatch, and I had her promise that she wouldn't bug the nest. It was a bit windy outside, and she was concerned that the nest was going to get blown out. I told her the nest is in a nice strong spot, and that the little egg will be just fine.

Makes me wonder all that goes on around us that we never notice.

Happy Mother's Day

Just have to tell you all what a wonderful husband I have. This is what I got/am getting for Mother's Day.

Fertilizer - Yes, I asked for it. Husbands take note - even if it sounds like an odd gift, if your wife tells you what she wants, get it for her! I'm looking forward to a lovely lawn.

Brakes - Isn't that thoughtful? My van inspection is coming up so last Saturday he and his dad checked out the brakes. Yes some needed replacing, and when I got home he told me Happy Mother's Day, LOL. I'm glad he cares about our safety (oh yah, and that whole passing inspection thing).

A Clean Fridge - Our fridge has needed some cleaning out for quite some time, not just tossing old food, but a down and dirty cleaning. Earlier today Jamie tossed something nasty out and I mentioned that I've been meaning to tackle the fridge, and that it would be soooo wonderful if he did that. He did! And it looks great! Knowing I don't have to work myself up to dealing with all the nasties has me positively glowing inside.

Dinner - Jamie is making dinner for not only me, but he put out an invite to both our families to anyone who would like to come so the moms don't have to cook. Jamie is an excellent cook, but guys, even if you just throw a roast in the crock pot with some spices on top, buy some rolls and salad, that would be a great meal!

Mother's Day Card - Every year I get a handmade Mother's Day card with a poem written by Jamie. I look forward to this more than anything else, because I know he puts some time and thought into it. Not that they are anything fancy, dripping with romance and such, but they are all him. And I love that.

I love you, Jamie! Thanks for all the wonderful things you do not just on Mother's Day, but every day.

Happy Mother's Day!

Super, Middle, and Falling Stars

I read Monday Morning Leadership by David Cottrell this past week (about time, since I borrowed it from someone over 6 months ago, and he has since moved, so now I get to mail it to him). This book contains a lot of great leadership suggestions in a very clear, concise format.

From the time I officially started learning about leadership when I went to Wood Badge as a participant, I was easily able to see how the lessons taught could be applied not only to the scouting 'teams' I worked with, but my family as well. This book was no different. It is intended for teams at work, but it brought out something really interesting that is definitely one of my family leadership weaknesses.

Cottrell talks about how there are three types of members on our teams - superstars (those who want to do their very best), middle stars (working along, but not superstars), and falling stars (those doing as little as they can to get by) - and that our tendency is to pile more on the superstars because we know they'll do it, and reward our falling stars with less, while still allowing that their lesser standard is acceptable. More encouragement and praise is given to middle and falling stars. I'm sure you are seeing what is wrong with this picture. Unfortunately, when superstars realize the treatment they receive vs. middle and falling stars, they lower their expectations and perform where they are going to get recognition.

Rather than spilling my terrible flaws, I'll let you think about how your own experience applies to that. I took plenty of notes on many other areas I can improve like focusing on the 'main thing' and being sure the team knows what that is, giving feedback, and using my time (and others' time) wisely.

The Great Sunflower Project

This looks fun! I signed us up earlier today.

Great Sunflower Project

...and a House

I just happened upon a quote by C.S. Lewis from "Mere Christianity" that I would like to add on to my bush post. I've read it before, and it is a perfect conlusion for that.

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house than the one you thought of--throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be make into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace."

'Nuff said.

The Power of Positive Speaking

I have been having some issues with one, okay two, of my children (not that the others won't bring new things up, but they usually take turns) and I was skimming through one of my parenting books looking for some inspiration. I came upon a chapter on positive reinforcement, and decided that was an area I could probably really work on. I praise my children, but there plenty of days when it's one thing after another and I wouldn't notice anything positive if it jumped out of my Cheerios. Nevermind, that would not be positive either.

I focused on one child especially for about a week, praising like crazy. We had a really good week! I felt wonderful all week, noticing positives everywhere. Our home felt wonderful. But the next week, not so good. Rather than getting positive results, I was getting shot negatives left and right in return. I got discouraged, sooooo discouraged.

Strangely enough, all these other sources on positive reinforcement started jumping out at me, like hello, you can do this!

This is something I saved recently. It's got some lists of positives we should use more and negatives we should use less.

I came across this article about a family that wanted to combat the negatives in their home and one way that they did it.

Jeffrey R. Holland addressed this topic so well during his talk on speaking with the Tongue of Angels.

"We must be so careful in speaking to a child. What we say or don’t say, how we say it and when is so very, very important in shaping a child’s view of himself or herself. But it is even more important in shaping that child’s faith in us and their faith in God. Be constructive in your comments to a child—always. Never tell them, even in whimsy, that they are fat or dumb or lazy or homely. You would never do that maliciously, but they remember and may struggle for years trying to forget—and to forgive. And try not to compare your children, even if you think you are skillful at it. You may say most positively that “Susan is pretty and Sandra is bright,” but all Susan will remember is that she isn’t bright and Sandra that she isn’t pretty. Praise each child individually for what that child is, and help him or her escape our culture’s obsession with comparing, competing, and never feeling we are 'enough.'"

My biggest worry is sounding insincere or fake. I was happy to read the "I've done it and you can too" thoughts from Nicholeen. Maybe I'll try actually keep track to see how I'm really doing.

All these "you can do it!" pats on the back were just what I needed. Jumping back on track!

I'm Just a Bush

I've decided that I really can't become who I need to become until I let go of the reigns, stop trying to run things, and go along for the ride, wherever it seems to take me.

I've been asked to be on a Wood Badge staff again (leadership training through the Boy Scouts of America) with the awesome Snake River Council out of Twin Falls, Idaho. I'm excited for another opportunity to join all the great people on staff, training scout leaders in advanced leadership techniques so they can take those skills home to use in their own unit, family, and career. This will be my third time on staff, and it is an amazing experience every year.

Still, last year when I came home I told myself I didn't need to do it again for the time being. Now is my time to focus on my family rather than all these other things they pull me away, even if it isn't very often. I was perfectly happy with that until I got the phone call a couple weeks ago, asking me to fill a position that someone else had to drop out of. I really really wanted to do it, but I still had the feeling that it isn't my time for things like that. Jamie and my dad were asked to go as well, but both their work schedules won't allow it right now, so I figured that was an easy out too. Long story short, after some prayer, fasting, and a temple visit, I know I need to go.

Still, it hasn't been easily to reconcile what I know I need to do with what I had been telling myself I need to do. I talked to a friend a couple days after committing to be on the staff and told her I don't get it - I keep doing all this leadership training, yet opportunities to use it are not very often.

While stewing over it later that day, I remembered this little story from Hugh B. Brown.

"President Brown remembered a lovely currant bush in his yard that he had carefully trimmed to be attractive and to produce the best fruit.

"One day, noticing that it had started to branch out again, he reached for the pruning shears. As he approached the currant bush, he imagined it to say, “Oh, please don’t cut me back. I’m just getting started, and I want to be big like the shade trees.”

"He imagined his response to be: “No, my little bush. I am the gardener here. I have planted you to be a source of fruit and an adornment in this part of my garden, and I am going to prune you back to size.”

"Many years later, as a colonel in the Canadian forces during World War I, Hugh Brown hoped for an illustrious military career. The next promotion to general should have been his, but when the vacancy occurred, his superiors told him, “We are promoting someone else.”

"He retired to his quarters, crushed with disappointment, and knelt in prayer, asking fervently: “Heavenly Father, why couldn’t my prayers have been answered? Haven’t I lived up to my covenants? Haven’t I done everything I was supposed to do? Why? Why?”

"And then he seemed to hear a voice, an echo from the past, saying, “I am the gardener here. You were not intended for what you sought to be.” Humbled, Hugh Brown then prayed for patience to endure the pruning and to grow as the Lord would have him grow."

(I took that from an article by Robert E. Wells here, but to read it in Elder Brown's own words, you can find it here. Brian K. Evans also mentions it in a talk from Women's Conference 2007 called "We Do Not Take Counsel From Our Fears." I KNOW I also read it in the Ensign last summer, but I can't find it.)

Julie of mental tesserae wrote beautifully on the same topic in a guest post for just an orange:

"Michelangelo talked about God as the 'divine hammer' –one who sculpts us into who we are and polishes away our imperfections until he has managed to release the soul within each block of stone. Saint Augustine wrote about the patterns in his own life (after the fact, of course, because it’s always easier to see them in retrospect) as signs of God’s hand in the writing of his story. In Rabbi Harold Kushner’s books, he uses the metaphor of a tapestry: God is weaving his masterpiece in each of us. We only see the messy underside—the broken threads, the knots and confusing imagery. From above, the divine work that is our lives takes shape with full purpose and beauty."

Jane Clayson Johnson adds another thought. She was speaking on giving her time to her children, but I think it applies any time we go the direction God sends us. "Rather than losing my identity..., the irony is, I actually feels as though I have further identified my true self."

Strange that I've had all these quotes jumping out at me lately. Makes me wonder what's up. If I had more time to think about it I would probably get really worried. I guess if I can't be in control of things, who better to trust my life with than those who know me better than myself.