Nursery Thoughts

Upon being released from the nursery for the second time within just a few years (I've been in the nursery with Carolyn, Erin, and Madeleine), I want to share a few ponderings.

Being in nursery is a very joyful experience.  The children are so quick to love you when you give your heart to them.  In this last round of service I had a few that would watch for my lap to be empty and take their turn sitting there.  Many of them play on their own and need only a little affirmation, while others need what feels like almost constant care.  Much like the rest of the world?

The lessons in nursery are very simple, ranging from about 30 seconds to a few minutes depending on the attention span of the kids.  But that's the official lesson time.  Really the lesson time starts the moment the first child arrives to when the last one leaves.  We learn to love one another, share, be kind, be helpful, that family is important (sweet to see how the siblings help each other), that church is a wonderful place to be, and on and on.  It always impresses me that we teach the same things learned in every other class, only on their level.  The gospel at its most basic.

Nursery definitely has its entertainment as well.  One little girl that loved my lap used to suck her thumb on one hand and run her fingers through my hair with the other.  When one little brother would get sad his big brother would tackle him and he would be all smiles (a house of all boys - go figure that's the way they show the love!).  

We had a Star Wars lover that kept turning off the lights one day.  We asked him to keep them on, and he looked at us very seriously and said, "Star Wars happens at night!"  Ah, that explains everything!  Plus, I had never thought about that with Star Wars, but true!  He had a hard time coming into nursery for a while, and we sat talking about Star Wars one day.  I learned his favorite character was Yoda, so the next week I brought Sammy's Yoda action figure.  Little guy was super excited until he noticed Yoda was missing a hand (his hand was attached to the light saber and Sam was concerned it would get lost, so we left it home).  He got a very serious look on his face and said, “But he doesn't have a hand!”  Not wanting to explain all, I told him we couldn't find it but that we would look again at home.  “But where’s his hand?!”  Home somewhere, we’ll find it.  “But he needs a lightsaber!”  I know, he needs that too.  But look, you can play with Yoda!  A little while later one of the little girls walked up and politely asked if she could play with it after he was done.  He looked at her totally incredulously and said, “But he’s a boy!”  She repeated that she wanted to play with him when he was done.  Stronger, like she was some kind of crazy for even asking, “But he’s a BOY!”  Worthy of note, he didn't have a problem coming to nursery ever again after that, even when I would forget Yoda.

Rosemary Wixom shared some beautiful thoughts about nursery in a CES fireside:
 "A young man in his teens had an experience when he was just a child, a very young child, under the age of three years old. He had been adopted into a family who were members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His environment changed drastically. He left his home in Eastern Europe and came to live in the eastern United States—a land with a new family, a new language, and new feelings. On Sundays his new family would take him to the nursery. It was in the church, down the hall, in that nursery room when he felt it—when he came to know a security and a love he had never felt before. It was his first experience of really recognizing the Spirit. Now, as a teenager, he occasionally chooses to go down the hall to that same nursery room to hear the sounds, see the sights, and feel the Spirit that he once felt there. How beautiful that nursery is to the eyes of that child who there came to the knowledge of the Spirit of the Holy Ghost."

Nursery is love.

I do have to admit (though I hate to do it) that this round wasn't an easy time for me.  The first time I served in the nursery I was there for a year and a half, and it took me six months to let go and allow the real learning to start.  So maybe I wasn't there long enough this time?  

I don't share that to complain (and believe me it's hard to share this chink in my armor), but because I want to watch for those people looking for someone to care about them.  I even wrote about my feelings in my study journal so I could remember, under the topic of UNITY.  "Without a constant gathering in, love, bonding, and appreciation for one another, wow, I feel lonely.  We're all in the same building, but it feels like two entirely different worlds.  It stinks.  But I don't want to forget this feeling.  I believe it's for a purpose.  This experience will hopefully help me build unity in the future.  I feel like the only way to be noticed would be to not come, but even then it would probably just be the others in nursery that would notice at first.  After a few weeks the primary presidency, and others eventually.  But would those others reach out and lift, or would they talk amongst themselves and wonder where I had gone wrong?  How have I responded to people in similar situations?  How should I?  Makes me think that while some don't come to church because of that lack of connection, and maybe there are others that want to be noticed.  (Is it the same thing?)  Wow.  How can you reach out to the whole, individuals, and the lost sheep, and gather them all in?"

Lest anyone judge me, I realize that we shouldn't go to church with more thought than how we can worship God and serve, and not worry about the "socialness" of it.  But if that fellowship wasn't part of the gospel, we could all have church at home each week, right?  A great man I know in our stake joined the church in his teens.  He asked me once how long it takes for a person to stop coming to church if no one says a word to them while they are there.  He paused for a moment while I thought in my happy little mind that gosh, we should come to church for God, not to be popular, when he answered his own question with, "Seven weeks.  That's how long it took me.  Seven weeks."  It's real people.  We need each other.

I'm so thankful for the time I've had to spend with those little ones.  They are definitely in my heart, and I am thankful for all they've taught me.

UNITY - Women Are That They Might Have Joy

I had the lovely opportunity to teach Relief Society last Sunday.  It was extra special with it being Mother's Day, since so many extras got to join in our discussion (the young men and young women took over their classes for the day).  Here is pretty much the whole long gist of the lesson.  (Personally, I hate long blog posts, so really, don't even feel like you have to read this.  I wanted it here for myself.)

As women, our nature is to love and serve others, and we have so many opportunities for that all around us.  But Satan also knows our nature, and he does all he can to get us to go against our nature – judging, gossiping, distractions, busyness, etc.

BUT - women are that they might have JOY!  When we participate in those kinds of things we aren't feeling joy.  When we are loving and serving each other, and feeling more UNITY with one another, that's when feelings of joy come.

From Henry B. Eyring “Our Hearts Knit as One” (pulled from throughout the talk):

“We see increased conflict between peoples in the world around us. Those divisions and differences could infect us. That is why my message of hope today is that a great day of unity is coming. The Lord Jehovah will return to live with those who have become His people and will find them united, of one heart, unified with Him and with our Heavenly Father.”

“The Lord’s prophets have always called for unity. The need for that gift to be granted to us and the challenge to maintain it will grow greater in the days ahead, in which we will be prepared as a people for our glorious destiny.”

“The miracle of unity is being granted to us as we pray and work for it in the Lord’s way. Our hearts will be knit together in unity. God has promised that blessing to His faithful Saints whatever their differences in background and whatever conflict rages around them.” 

“The reason that we pray and ask for that blessing is the same reason the Father is granting it. We know from experience that joy comes when we are blessed with unity. We yearn, as spirit children of our Heavenly Father, for that joy which we once had with Him in the life before this one. His desire is to grant us that sacred wish for unity out of His love for us.”

(This is key ----->) “He cannot grant it to us as individuals. The joy of unity He wants so much to give us is not solitary. We must seek it and qualify for it with others. It is not surprising then that God urges us to gather so that He can bless us. …  We can pray and work for the unity that will bring us joy and multiply our power to serve.”

We talked about why unity is important, and the kinds of acts, even small acts, that create feelings of unity.  (A smile, quick phone call, unexpected treat, crying together, visiting teaching, service, etc. - there were many more.)

Dallin H. Oaks “Desire”

“What we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.”

(I love this---->) “To achieve our eternal destiny, we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being.  For example, eternal beings forgive all who have wronged them.  They put the welfare of others ahead of themselves.  And they love all of God’s children.  If this seems too difficult—and surely it is not easy for any of us—then we should begin with a desire for such qualities and call upon our loving Heavenly Father for help with our feelings.  The Book of Mormon teaches us that we should “pray unto the Father will all the energy of heart, that [we] may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ” (and to continue Moroni 7:48…) “that when he shall appear we shall be like him.”

“It is our actions and our desires that cause us to become something.”

Then we discussed the results of having a relationship where trust, love, friendship, and unity is felt.  (You don't feel alone, feel supported, know you have someone you can call on for help, burdens are lighter, etc. - again, the very few I can remember.)

In our church, we have formal assignments to care for one another through visiting teaching and callings.

Julie Beck taught at a recent training that we should “count the caring.”  That visiting teaching isn't about marking off each of the little check boxes (went with a partner, gave a lessons, etc.), but about really caring for one another.  Visiting teaching is a system to love and nurture each women in the gospel.  It is a system of watchcare.

Pres. Henry B. Eyring on Visiting Teaching - “Each time you and your companion prepare to go visiting teaching, you just need to remember what success will be. It will be more than getting in the door. It will be more than giving a message. It will be more than asking how you can help. Success will come perhaps only after many visits. And you may not in this world see the evidence that you have succeeded. But you can feel by the Spirit if you are on the way.”

A few things to think about while trying to create meaningful relationships where we can feel unity:

- Do you know basic details about them?

- Are you helping to bring the spirit into their life?

- What impressions do you get about their well-being?

- Are you pondering ways to strengthen them both before and after you visit?

- How do they strengthen you?

- Do you pray to know and love her?

Spencer W. Kimball “The Role of Righteous Women” Ensign, November 1979

“Much of the major growth that is coming to the Church in the last days will come because many of the good women of the world (in whom there is often such an inner sense of spirituality) will be drawn to the Church in large numbers. This will happen to the degree that the women of the Church reflect righteousness and articulateness in their lives and to the degree that the women of the Church are seen as distinct and different-in happy ways-from the women of the world.”

That quote has been given many many times, but it needs to be shared yet again.  If we are succumbing to Satan's tools against women, we aren't being "distinct and different-in happy ways," we are following the world.  When we do seek for unity,  as new sisters join with us (at least four definitions of "new"), they will see and feel that unity, but rather than feeling left out, they will feel drawn into it.  That rather than keeping them on the outside, we will gather them in.

As RS sisters, we have the amazing opportunity to strengthen one another through welfare and compassionate service.  Think about it!  We go into each other’s homes, provide a meal, help with one another's children, give service, be a friend, show love.

Sister Hinckley, from “Glimpses into the Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinckley” - “Sisters, we are all in this together.  We need each other.  Oh, how we need each other.  Those of us who are old need you who are young.  And hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old.  It is a sociological fact that women need women…  We need to lock arms and help build the kingdom so that it will roll forth and fill the whole earth.” (also quoted here)

 M. Russell Ballard “Finding Joy Through Loving Service”

“By treating each other kindly, speaking words of support and encouragement, and being sensitive to each other’s needs, we can create loving unity among ward members.  Where charity exists, there is no place for gossip or unkind words.”

Quoting Spencer W. Kimball Elder Ballard said, “It is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. … So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving … help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow … from small but deliberate deeds!”

  

Henry B. Eyring, “Opportunities to Do Good”

Quoting Marion G. Romney “You cannot give yourself poor in this work.”  Quoting Melvin J. Ballard, “A person cannot give a crust to the Lord without receiving a loaf in return.”

Russell M. Nelson, “Face the Future with Faith” 

Each of us is a child of God “with a sacred purpose and potential.  Each is born with challenges to overcome and faith to be developed.”

We just need to "lock arms" like Sister Hinckley said with "our hearts knit as one" (Elder Eyring) and do everything we can to strengthen and love one another.

Like one sister shared (can't remember just when she did during the lesson), if she ever had to send one of her children to a place where she knew they would struggle, where they would feel pain, where they would really be challenged and tested, she would want to send her children together so they could help each other through it.  And that's exactly what our Heavenly Father did for us - he sent us together.

THANK GOODNESS!