Another mental kick...
I had come up with the idea for this "project" I think a couple years ago, but felt like it was time to start working on it early last September, the same day I felt like I should volunteer to teach all those men. Thinking about that day recently, I had the thought, "What if the stories were the same?"
Story 1 (the volunteer one) - I felt like I should do it. On the way home I e-mailed an "I'll do it message" (I wasn't driving) and upon hearing that those in charge were good with that, I put together a monthly plan in excel for pretty much the entire next year, and had my first meeting a few weeks later. The second month was a really tough one, but when it was over I wrote in my journal, "I think I can do anything!"
Story 2 - I felt like I should do it. The feeling wasn't as strong, so I packed the idea away for a while, more as an "I'll get on that as I can." Nudges would come here and there, and I would write posts like the link above mentioning some of those nudges (and now more posts about even more nudges), and yet the first stage of that project is only just over a fourth done. I have thoughts in my head of a few particulars that will need to happen in the process, but it's not written down anywhere and I don't have a clear vision just where I'm going with it (part of that I hope will come as inspiration, but maybe that's an excuse too).
Story 1 is very driven, with a specific plan, goals to look towards, and something I really put effort into and worked towards. It's very easy to see that Story 2 is a plan to fail.
So what if the stories were the same? What if Story 2 read more like Story 1? After all, as much as I can, it's up to me to write my own stories.