WHELMED

More and more I really enjoy words.

I thought of the word "whelmed" earlier today.  In my little brain it should mean not quite overwhelmed.  Like "Wow, crazy!" but not, "Whoa, I can't take this!"  Don't you think?

The dictionary doesn't agree.

The Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines "whelmed" as "Covered, as by being plunged or immersed."  It has no overwhelm.

The Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines "whelm" as:

1.  to turn (as a dish or vessel) upside down usually to cover something : cover or engulf completely with usually disastrous effect
2.  to overcome in thought or feeling

It defines "overwhelm" as:

1.  upset, overthrow
2.  a. to cover over completely : submerge
     b. to overcome by superior force or numbers
     c. to overpower in thought or feeling (The same as whelm - how can that be when you add "over" to it?)

Then get this.  The Free Dictionary online defines "whelm" as:

1. to engulf entirely with or as if with water

2. another word for overwhelm (What???  There we go again!)

I like their "overwhelm" definitions the best:

1. to overpower the thoughts, emotions, or senses of
2. to overcome with irresistible force
3. to overcome, as with a profusion or concentration of something
4. to cover over or bury completely
5. to weigh or rest upon overpoweringly

I like my personal definition of whelmed.  Maybe if we all started using it according to the definition like unto "to weigh or rest upon somewhat," "to heavily weigh the thoughts, emotions, or senses of" we could start a new trend.  I think whelm would be a fun word to use.

Simple Woman's Daybook

Things have been so busy in so many levels that I haven't had much time to think about writing here, and even e-mail messages that take extra thought take me days to write.  I've been wanting to write for a while; I think this is my speed right now.

FOR TODAY - January 7, 2011

Outside my window... it's dark and cold.  The girls are in bed, all my guys are playing with the scouts building snowcaves, but are coming home tonight to sleep in their own warm beds.

I am thinking... of how to simplify, and the things I should be focusing on that are really important. 

I am thankful for... so many things.  My family.  My wonderful and fun husband who I love to be around, and my children who are a delight to be a mother to.  Thankful that Adam will be doing something he'll love all summer working at a scout camp, even though I'll miss having him around.

The latest news... a new calling - Relief Society President.  Yah, crazy.  Came as a complete shock.  Heavenly Father has far more confidence in me than I do in myself, but I'm thankful to know He qualifies those He calls.  Should be a fun ride!

From the learning rooms... we finished reading "The Hobbit" together a few days ago and started "The Voyages of Dr. Dolittle."  I'm learning all the time; hopefully the kids are too.

From the kitchen... Jamie has done a lot of the cooking the past month or so.  He's been home quite a bit, so we've had some really delicious things.  It's been a blessing, especially as I'm learning my calling and getting up to speed with that.

I am wearing... my jammies (cozy time), but I got a couple pairs of pants for Christmas that I love.  Haven't hardly worn jeans since then.

I am creating... memories and love.  That doesn't require a clean/organized home, right?  But still/always trying!

I am reading... "Enchantment" by Orson Scott Card.  Maybe 1/5 of the way in, good so far.  Some here and there's bug me (like random crude language, not swearing but crude), but an intriguing story.

Goals for the New Year...  Without even checking my reading goals every year have become more simple, and this year is no different.  This year I want to read one book each month of my choosing.  I say that because I am now involved with two book groups, plus a homeschool group that had a book for each month.  With all that, I don't feel like I have a lot of opportunities to read what I want (not saying all those books aren't books I want to read!).  I have so many things I want to study that my reading time seems to get less and less.

This is also my year to learn about pie crusts.


A picture thought... so glad my kids are friends!

Choosing to Follow

Our family was invited to perform some service a couple weeks ago, and we quickly accepted the opportunity.  Simple really.  Meet at the church, and help clean.

While we were there, I thought about how the process of gathering people for this service could be improved.  I had seen sign up sheets about it in the past, but we got a phone call.  Maybe the sign up sheets hadn't worked.  I wondered if it would make a difference if it was laid out how often our congregation had the responsibility, and if everyone were asked to perform this service once, possible twice, through the year.

The person in charge was there with us, and I asked if she gets a lot of excuses when she asks for help.

"Yes, I do.  Or people just don't call back."  She mentioned later that she's done it all herself before.  With our crew, it took us two hours.  That would be a big job on your own.

As I thought more about it, I wondered if things would be different if someone else were making assignments. My mind went through a list of people, and and I imagined possible scenarios if they were in charge.  Some gathering friends, some guilting people into helping, and some like this one, performing the service on their own if necessary.

This all brought me to another, bigger question.  Why do we choose whether we follow based on the person leading?

True, some people are natural leaders.  They gather people easily, and people are quick to follow.  I've noticed that I love to see someone with a vision actively working towards that, and it is especially effective when they are sharing that vision (i.e. vocal about it!).

There are others maybe not as charismatic, not as readily noticed.  They perform their duties more quietly, yet placed as a leader for a time, they are moving forward as well.  Is their effort less?  The result also accepted? Leadership in a widow's mite-ish sort of way.

I guess the biggest question is where your loyalty lies - the person or the cause.

Sammy's Ah-Ha

I started reading 10 Conversations You Need to Have With Your Children the other day.  Right off the author mentions Psalms 127 where it talks about children being arrows and happy is the man that has his quiver full.  The analogy is made that if children are the arrows, then parents are like the bow, so no matter how far the arrow has flown, the path was originally guided by the bow.  I like that.

So tonight Sammy and I were reading about George Frideric Handel, and withing the first couple of pages in that it talks about Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Handel's father DID NOT want his son to become a musician).  Sammy went to grab his scriptures to look it up, so since they are similar, I shared the Psalms 127 scripture with him.

While telling the boys good night tonight, Sammy told me he'd thought of something.  "If kids are the arrows, and the parents are the bow, Heavenly Father is like the person using them, and heaven is the target."

L.O.V.E. I.T.

I told him thank you for teaching me.  Children truly are an heritage of the Lord.

Paying the Price

I've been thinking about the price.

What is the price for the things I want?

Is the good, better, best question a question of price? In choosing one thing, we must remember the cost, not only of what we choose, but the cost of not choosing something else.

What am I willing to pay for? What is so important to me that I am willing to pay the price?

An example of paying the price - Bruce R. McConkie:

“Dad paid a price to learn,” says his son Mark. “He knew gospel understanding comes to people who earn it—it’s not some sudden flash that comes without effort. Even though he had already read the scriptures many times during his life, he reread the entire standard works, taking notes on everything that was messianic in nature, before writing The Promised Messiah. Then when he wrote The Mortal Messiah, he read the entire standard works again and wrote down everything that was helpful in analyzing the life of the Savior. For The Millennial Messiah, he read the entire standard works a third time and wrote down everything that was millennial. Some people may not appreciate the intense labor that went into it.”

"A daughter once asked him how he learned the gospel. When he was a young man, he said, about eighteen or nineteen, he went through the Book of Mormon verse by verse, studying and cross-referencing, and rewriting each verse in his own words. He covered the entire Book of Mormon in this way and had a stack of papers over a foot high when he was through. “I asked him what he did with those papers, and he said he threw them away—it wasn’t the stack of papers or what he wrote that was important, but the discipline and understanding it gave him. This is the way he taught himself.”

I've been reading the book "Change Your Questions, Change your Life." It is good to ask the questions, and even better to take the time to discover the answers.

My Comedy of Errors

All I wanted to do was take a friend some dinner, and this is what happened:

1.  I was making lasagna and realized I didn't have any mozzarella cheese.  To the store (also grabbed a bag of salad and french bread, which I wanted to go with the lasagna anyway, and extra noodles just in case!), and home.
2.  Got meat and noodles cooking, and realized quickly that I didn't have any ricotta cheese or spaghetti sauce.  Didn't even occur to me before then as ingredients I would need.  Argh!  Had enough sauce for one pan of lasagna (if I stretched it), but decided I just couldn't do it without the ricotta.  Back to the store, and home.
3.  Opened the car door to get out the ricotta and sauce, and a jar of sauce rolled right out and broke on the driveway (one of those slow motion moments - "Nooooooooooo!").  Thank goodness it was on sale, so I had bought three jars instead of just one or two (might have bought more, but I didn't grab a cart).  Cleaned up the mess, back to cooking.
4.  Cooking away.  Sammy got after Erin for playing with my iTouch.  Then he said something like, "What did you do?"  He grabbed it and turned to show me, dropped it on the floor (ouch), picked it up and handed it to me.  Something wasn't... right.  Erin had deleted a bunch of the programs I use the most.  Big Argh!
5.  Finally finished making everything, hoped the lasagna cooked long enough, but since it was already late, I dashed off with a few extra of my little friends to deliver it.
6.  While we were there, Carolyn walked back to their chickens and collected several eggs in her shirt (this girl should have been born on a farm).  My friend offered to let her take an egg with us, and put it in one of those little rubbermaid containers that hold next to nothing but was perfect for the egg.  Erin wanted one too, of course, so without another little container, I told her we could put it in a drink holder for the ride home.
7.  Driving home on the freeway, Erin asked if she could eat the egg.  "No, it's not cooked yet."  "But can't I eat it now?"  "NO, you cannot eat it now.  It's gooey and slimey, not scrambled or fried."  Silence.  A few moments later Carolyn turned to look at her.  "MOM!  Erin cracked her egg!"
8.  The egg was together enough (learned shortly that she'd cracked a hole just smaller than a dime), that she was able to pass it up to Carolyn.  Still driving on the freeway, we swapped the broken egg to the little container, and I put the uncontained egg in my cup holder.  Napkins were passed around; baby wipes found and dispensed.
9.  Made it home without further excitement.  Our dinner was done cooking.  We set the table, and ate.

It's all much funnier now.

These Are Our Hall Ways

If I posted all the started posts I write, there would be a lot more on here more often, but it would all be a lot more incomplete and unpolished (maybe no one would notice the difference??).  Maybe I should publish one once in a while just to throw people off, or challenge the world to finish my randomness for me.

We have a family mission statement.  It is about two months old now, and it took us almost a year to write (I blame myself).  Our writing process went something like this:

• One family home evening we talked about what a mission statement is, and told everyone to start thinking about things that make our family different than other families so we could jot those down in a week or two.
• A few months later, we talked about it again, and said, "Hey, remember when we talked about having a mission statement?  Now let's write down some ideas."  We passed out note cards and had everyone write down at least five ideas on how our family is different from other families, or the kinds of things that are important to our family.  When it was over, we read them through, I gathered them up, and put them in my scripture bag.
• A few months later, we pulled them out again, looked them all over as a family, grouped similar suggestions, and talked about ways we could reword some things to include other things as well.  When we were done, they all went back into my scripture bag for further fermenting.
• A few months later, I pulled them all out again and typed up the ideas.  Over the next few days I looked at it and stewed over it, changed the order of a few things, adjusted wording here and there, then e-mailed it off to Jamie for his thoughts.  He gave some suggestions, and I incorporated those in.  A bit more minor tweaking, and voila, it was finished and ready for the rest of the family.

As you can see, the process could have been a lot quicker, but maybe we needed that time to come up with some of the best parts.  It really was a family effort.  When it was complete and I read it to the kids, we pulled out the cards and talked about where each of their ideas worked in.  They were all pleased.  Except for one thing, which I will mention at the end.  But here it is.

We are the Hall Family

and these are our Hall Ways.

The Halls are great people! (That is always said with vigor.)

As family members and friends, we love each other and serve each other.

We love spending time together, both playing and working.

We love to learn great things.

We can do hard things and we do the right things.

Miracles happen when we're working together.

We focus on Christ, study the scriptures, and follow the prophet.

The temple is our goal.

Together, we are the happiest family.

We recite this every morning now before scripture study.  Everyone memorized it really quickly.  About two days into it, Sammy told me we're bragging there at the end.  I told him it's not bragging, because every family, when they are together, can be the happiest family.  I mentioned what he said to a friend who also has a family mission statement, and she said, "He should hear ours then!"  Part of theirs mentions that among a variety of other wonderful things, they are "gooooood lookin!"

At least once a week someone mentions something that we should add to it, whether it's something funny like, "We love our baby!" or a portion of a scripture that we feel would apply well.  I don't think there will be any changes at this point, but maybe somewhere down the road we'll look at that.

But... How Do You Know?

Every time someone starts asking me questions about homeschooling, there is one question that always - ALWAYS - comes up.  Something to the gist of...

"But how do you know your kids are getting what they are supposed to?"

I was recently in the middle of one of those homeschool conversations, and the person was genuinely interested.  Questions were coming one after the other as they reconciled their own school experience with what I was telling them, but the question eventually came.

"But how do you know?"

I gave my usual about how I'm with them all the time so I know what they do and don't do, their strengths and weaknesses, yada yada blah blah blah, which is all entirely true.  But it wasn't until the car ride home that the real answer came to me.  What I should have replied with is,

"How do YOU know?"

Doctrine and Covenants 88:77-80 states:

77 And I give unto you a commandment that you shall teach one another the doctrine of the kingdom.

78 Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

79 Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

80 That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you.

The way I understand this, if I am teaching my children, I will be blessed to understand the things I need to to perform my mission as their mother and as their mentor.  Likewise, in doing my part, I will help them learn what they need to know and understand for their missions as well.

I can't tell my children what their mission is any more than the school can.  But there's a difference - at school they have all these tests of what kids at certain grade levels are "supposed" to know at that point.  At home I may not have all the state tests, but I am with my children daily, I know and love them as individuals, and what the schools say my children need to know isn't important to me.  What is important to me is that I know that each of them has a mission in life to fulfill, and that I have the amazing opportunity to help them prepare and work towards that mission.

When my second son was struggling with math one year, the daily homework was a variety of review problems.  I talked to his teacher about getting practice problems on things they were studying in class so I could help him learn and review it at home, and was surprised at how mystified the teacher was by the idea.  Turns out, the regular daily homework was getting them ready for the end of year test.  Rather than focusing on mastering what they were learning right then, they were worried about preparing the kids for the test.

I know what my children are getting because I can take all the time I want to help them master the things they are learning.

At school, also because of those tests, the teachers teach less and less of the "extras" that don't fit in the realm of those tests.  My children have time to learn any of the extras they like, and they want to, and they do.

How do you know what your children are being taught?

I am in my children's classroom every day. I know what their textbooks teach.  Did you know that because of theophobia, plenty of textbooks teach that the pilgrims came to American because they were mad at the king, or just because they wanted to?  The fact is, they came because they wanted to worship God as they chose, because in England, they couldn't.  It was a religious decision, pure and simple, but in schools, religion isn't allowed.  I can testify about God's hand in history or science or literature or anything anytime I want to.  I can share the testimonies of the Founding Fathers and Christopher Columbus regarding God's hand in their efforts.  I can compare scripture stories and principles to other things we learn.

I'm not sharing this to say our way is better than sending your children to school every day, but so you can think about the same question every homeschooler gets asked.  I believe it is equally important for all parents.

So... how do you know your kids are getting what they are supposed to?

Tough Chicks

After a wild and crazy day at the zoo (where there was an attempted attack on Erin and my nephew by a baby Siamese Crocodile and the tigers were more playful than we've ever seen them), we had dinner, the two middle girls had a bath, and we pulled out a couple of library books to read.

I picked up the first one, a book called "Tough Chicks" that Carolyn had checked out. When I started to read, I quickly got the feeling that I would be getting more out of the book than they would.

Not that it isn't a light, fun story. Three baby girl chicks are born and immediately prove to not be the normal variety of chicks. They do all sorts of wild things, getting into things they aren't supposed to, doing things they shouldn't.

"Make them be good!" called the animals.
"They are good!" Mama Hen clucked.
But sometimes even she worried.

I had to chuckle at one page in particular because I'd had a similar experience today at the zoo. When we go, we always joke that they zookeepers are going to think Carolyn is one of the monkeys and try to keep her there. She will usually ask a zookeeper if she can have a monkey, and when they say no, she'll ask if she can pet one (she hasn't talked anyone into it yet). She thinks the whole place is one giant jungle gym. In several areas of the zoo they have guardrails in front of the cages that are perfect for swinging on, and she sits, hangs, flips, and sometimes flops on them. Today we went with my two sisters and their kids, and as Carolyn was swinging away on one of them, my niece, who had been told not to do that, walked over to me and said, "Isn't she supposed to stop doing that?" I didn't respond, thinking, "But she's so GOOD at it!"

In the book, one of the three chicks likes to swing off the cow's tail, and after one particularly wild swing which causes the other chicks to run for cover, Mama Hen calls to her to be careful, then adds quietly to herself, "Nice form."

When a crisis happens on the farm, they are the ones to come to the rescue and save the day.  Happily ever after and all that.

This book is a treasure. A wonderful reminder for this mom that I have good kids too. They may be wild, loud, boisterous, active, nutty, playful, and disruptive, but they are good kids. And I can't wait to see what all that craziness becomes. If I'm still sane by then.

Tricks, Traps, and Huh?

I've written before about how much I enjoy cleaning my house. I look back at the days when it was just Jamie and I, and wonder how in the world I ever got behind in it back then. Then again, my "getting behind" then is a lot different than my "getting behind" now. Then we would get busy with school and after a week or two decide that things were getting out of hand and needed some touching up. Now, one busy day, even a half a busy day, can leave the entire place shot. It's a conspiracy!

When I really can't work myself up to start cleaning, sometimes a little game will come into my head to play while I clean. Almost like talking to myself, only different.

Today as I was dragging myself to the sink to do dishes I noticed a piece of hard candy on the counter, unwrapped it, and popped it into my mouth. Then the thought came, "Clean as long as it takes to melt that in your mouth." Voila! Like Mary Poppin's spoonful of sugar, it helped the medicine of cleaning go down. "In every job that must be done there is an element of fun. You find the fun, and SNAP! The job's a game!" What a wise woman Mary Poppins is. And since many times I just need to get my motor going, the candy game was enough to do that. I didn't even realize when it was gone! But when I did notice, I was already seeing the good results of my efforts and kept moving (till I stopped to blog about it).

Another starter for the day was writing on facebook, "I am such an amazing person! I can think of at least 684 things to do besides clean the house. Any independently wealthy people out there want to send a maid over for me?" As soon as I clicked the "share" button, I thought, "What if one of my friends and neighbors reads that, thinks, gee, sounds like Marni could really use some help today, and actually comes over to help. How embarrassing would that be?" That thought sent me on another cleaning frenzy.

Unfortunately, distractions abound around here, and some days it seems that I hardly get going before someone or something stops the progress. Today it was Madeleine getting a big bonk on the head, after which I held and loved her for about an hour. But somewhere I remember hearing that the distractions in life are life, so here's to the distractions.

Something else struck me the other day. I was looking at a picture taken of me in our kitchen the month before I turned 16. I hadn't noticed much about the picture except me before, but this time I noticed a kitchen chair showing in the picture. I stared at it, digging in years of unused memories, and for the life of me, I do not remember those kitchen chairs. (Coincidentally, I mentioned it to my sister today who would have been 9 at the time and she did.) We moved a month later and a new dining set was purchased, so those are what I remember. I've heard it said before that kids don't remember the mess, they remember what you did with them, how they were loved, etc. etc. So by golly, if I can't even remember chairs I probably sat on for the first almost 16 years of my life, yet I do remember a lot of really fun things, I guess that's got to be true and it's most important to enjoy being with your family instead of stressing over the mess. Then again, I don't remember Disneyland. But that's another point for another day.

Journaling

Wanted to share an update on my journal. I'm still journaling my random and sometimes more personal thoughts and love it when I do. It's so much nicer journaling thoughts and ideas rather than "went to the store, ate some lunch, cleaned the house, my life is so boring" kinds of things. Sometimes there is a bit of traveloging, but only if there is a purpose behind it.

I've been reading A Two-Part Invention by Madeleine L'Engle right now, which makes me want to journal even more often. It's the story of her marriage to her husband, Hugh Franklin, and a beautiful story at that. Much of the story is refreshed through her journals, and she shares direct quotes from it. Things like this, that she wrote while they were apart for a few weeks in separate plays:

"But the wonderful thing, whether we are together or apart, is to know that he is in the world, and that we belong together."

Loved that, especially since my husband travels off and on.

Something else from the book, after she shares a few simple stories:

"As I recorded such small events in my journal I was, in effect, writing my own story."

So maybe that means I should write more stories down... I'll think about it. Frankly, anything is an improvement over nothing, and the fact that I'm still going at it means that I'm doing something right.

I was talking about journal writing with someone one day and mentioned that I write in pencil. She reprimanded me for that, and told me from personal experience that pen is always best. So I found a pen that I like and I guess whoever picks up my journal someday will have to see my scribbling out.

It's different writing by hand than it is typing things up. I like the quick and easy editing factor of typing, and that it's faster all around (for me). But maybe that's why writing is different - more thought because editing is harder and because the process is slower.

Journaling is nice too, because I don't stew (as much) over what I wrote after I close my journal. I edit and reedit when I'm blogging, finally click "publish," and about an hour later, think of all kinds of things I should have included in the post. Just for fun, anything I come up with to add to this I'll add to the comments. But just watch - then it won't happen.

Just Kick Me

My mom has made a few comments about me not keeping up on this for a while. Sorry! I'm trying to be inspired, I promise. But I'm also trying to catch up from all the things I had to do a few weeks ago and was so busy getting ready for that I couldn't spare any brain cells for blogging a few weeks before the few weeks. Besides, she shouldn't be encouraging me to blog - she's seen my house.

But to throw out something for fun, I got to meet a wonderful online friend in person a couple weeks ago. It was a crazy visit, involving our combined 11 children plus several others (most were swimming), so thank goodness for the husbands and uncle that were there to play with them while we attempted to chat in the chaos of it all. We'll definitely have to do it again in three years! :)