A few months ago I was at a meeting. Something came up in that meeting that two of the other participants had very different and very strong opinions about, and a VERY HEATED argument ensued. I'm one of those people that sits through a fight, then 20 minutes later (or the next day or week even) I think of great things I could have said to drill a point home, but in the middle of the fight I go blank and curl up inside thinking, "Can't we just all be friends?"
I was so uncomfortable that night that I went home and started looking at books online about how to argue, and how to debate. I brought a couple home from the library and perused them, but never made it very far. The books were intriguing (why would you not want to learn what Homer Simpson can teach us about arguing?), but I ended up taking them back to the library hardly opened.
At women's conference at BYU the other day I was sitting in one class trying to listen while I was also trying to decide where I was going next, reading through class descriptions. I found one that sounded intriguing, called "'Our Hearts Knit Together in Unity': Women as Peacemakers," with a description that mentioned finding "joy, peace, and common ground" and differences being "opportunities to learn to love and value one another." I immediately thought of that terrible meeting. This is what I need! To learn to be a peacemaker and calm things, instead of learning how to jab and parry with amazing argumentative skills.
The class was excellent! I feel like I was directed to the right road I need to be traveling, with some keys I can use to start unlocking what I need to study, and learn to become someone that can be effective in a Christ-like way, without curling up inside and wishing myself away.
My point - your first answer might not always be the right answer. There can be a better way to accomplish the same goal. Maybe even accomplish a higher goal. I'm grateful that my Heavenly Father cares about me enough to guide me to those things.
My other point - give peace a chance. :)