Do You Care?

I hate forwards. Do people really think those threats of misfortune, death, or dismemberment are real? If an e-mail was really that powerful, there would be a lot of misery in our home. None of my neighbors have received a great sum of money from any source, though I've had that variety sent on more than my delete button wants to remember.

Once in a while there are gems, though, and thanks to the people that have sent me those. Here's one I got recently that has had me thinking about it ever since.

You don't have to actually answer the questions (though you can if you want). Just read straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name five people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners. (Adam could probably do that)

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. I have to wonder how long the glory lasts for these people.

Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care.

And might I add, these are the "awards" that matter.

We have choices to make every day: to give of ourselves to others, or to continue through our own personal agendas. No matter how much we WANT to be in the second category for other people, when we are too concerned about the daily to-do's it limits our opportunities to reach out to other people. Basically it's a choice between mediocre and being great.

"The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one's 'own,' or 'real' life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one's real life -- the life God is sending one day by day." --C.S. Lewis

A wonderful reminder - especially since we were surprised last night with one kiddo with a fever and another throwing up. :) I hope that maybe someday the little bodies I get to mother would include me in some of their second quiz answers.

Surrounded by Greatness, or When I Grow Up

I feel like I'm surrounded by greatness on so many levels. I made a list of lots of people I want to be like in some way or another, and was going to abbreviate them for only me to know, then I decided even that wasn't necessary. I know who my greats are, you should all get your own.

I want to be a spouse like...

I want to be a parent like...

I want to be a leader like....

I want to be wise like...

I want to be a homemaker like...

I want to be caring like...

I want to be a listener like...

I want to be a declutterer like...

I want to be a thinker like...

I want to study like...

I want to be politically knowledgeable like...

I want to build greatness in others like...

I have two or three people for most of those, sometimes more.

It would be a whole lot easier if I didn't know so many great and amazing people. I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but they say that the only way to bring someone to a higher level is to be higher yourself. So here are all these people at some higher level than me, and I feel like I'm slowly working my way up the mountain at every opportunity to join them, taking every chance I can to rub shoulders with them and learn from them.

Maybe bit by bit I'm picking up little pebbles (maybe even sometimes a gem or two) to add to myself. And maybe someday I'll be a knoll, or maybe even a small hill that someone else could look up to for something.

Dallin H. Oaks once said, "In contrast to the institutions of the world, which teach us to knowsomething, the gospel of Jesus Christ challenges us to become something."

I love looking for the greatness in other people. There is so much out there, people striving to do more and be more at whatever they are. I feel like there is something admirable in everyone, even if sometimes you have to look a little closer for it. More and more I see why it's such a terrible thing for people to hide their candle under a bushel, when it could be giving light to all those around them.

Even more exciting, I love watching the greatness growing in my children, seeing them come into the gifts God has blessed them with. I can't wait to see who they become.

P.S. Lest you think me wise already with the whole pebble/mountain thing, a hill or mountain of pebbles really would be a terrible thing to climb up, don't you think? So it's really a very silly analogy.

P.P.S. The song "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" just gained a whole new meaning for me. I'm going to look just like this someday when I get there.

P.P.P.S. By the way, Maria wasn't anywhere near 'there' at this point in the movie, really just beginning on her climb. (See, more faulty wisdom.)

My Parenting Lesson for the Day

I needed this today. Take a look (it's SO worth it).

Lead Like the Great Conductors

Now really, don't read on until you've watched that or you won't get most of the rest. It's 20 minutes if you just watch it straight through (took me at least an hour because I was taking crazy amounts of notes).

I love to learn about leadership. I love how leadership principles apply in so many many ways. In fact, I'm even very slowly working on a book about leadership. I have a few posts I've written about leadership that have never been posted with the book in mind. Maybe I don't want bad feedback on something that is so deep in my heart. One post even involves a great conductor I saw in person once. Maybe I'll have to share that since it's so closely related to this.

So about this particular leadership lesson from Itay Talgam. I want to lead like the greats, especially when it comes to leading my children. Unfortunately today was a Riccardo Muti kind of day. How things slide down that slope I don't know. I don't have the excuse that I was trying to tell a story as beautiful as Mozart's.

About my own mother. She's not one that most would call a great leader, but she's someone I've been trying to study and figure out for a very long time. I read something a few months ago that opened my eyes to her leadership a bit, and I wish I had written it down, but as it stands I'll have to try to find it again. I don't remember her ever being like Muti, or most of those conductors. I would put her in the category of the last Bernstein clip. I don't remember a lot of lectures or instruction from her during our growing up years (maybe she's rolling her eyes right now at my great memory), but like the orchestra, I guess we knew what was expected, how to make it great, and we did it. And she has five awesome children to show for it.

I am not that parent! And far too many days I find myself sweating by the end. Do I look at the "trombones" too much?

I don't know if I'll ever be a Berstein, but maybe I can at least make it to Kleiber.

"You have the plan in your head, you know what to do, and you become a partner to create the sound as you take the ride."

"When it's needed, the authority is there." (Poor trumpet guy!)

"He's there 100%, but not commanding, not telling what to do. Rather enjoying what the soloist is doing."

Thank goodness tomorrow is another day. There's always another concert to play. It's their story that needs to be nurtured and told, not mine. Hopefully the conductor shows up more prepared. At least they haven't fired me yet!

(For your viewing enjoyment, here's the full version of that last Bernstein clip.)

Creativity Slump?

It's been over two weeks since I last posted. Sad! That doesn't mean this is the first thought I've started to write up since then, but it's the first one that I'm determined to post. There is another close. Maybe.

Jamie read me a quote in "The Summer of the Great-Grandmother" by Madeline L'Engle that might account for my lack of producing something enlightening enough I feel worth publishing.

My creativity is being drained. When I was pregnant with Josephine, a friend who was a successful dancer and the mother of several children told me that a woman cannot be creative in two ways simultaneously, and that I would not be able to write while I was carrying the baby. Obviously she could not do a tour jete when she was five months pregnant, but I saw no reason not to go on writing, and write I did. The odd thing is that nothing I wrote during my pregnancies ever came, itself, to term. It was like practicing finger exercises, absolutely essential for the playing of the fugue, but it did not lead to the fugue till after the baby was born. I do not understand this, but I do not think it coincidence.

I'm teaching a writing class to 13 9-11 year olds at a homeschool co-op every Thursday. In many ways I wish I were taking the class instead of teaching it. Isn't that strange? If I'm teaching it, I should know more than the kids I'm teaching. Well, to a point I do, but as the teacher I don't actually have to produce a book through the course of the class like the kids do. They've all been writing these wonderful stories, and while you could say I'm improving my teaching skills, my being inspirational skills, or my "look, you just have to write a story, okay?" bossy skills, I haven't done an ounce of writing myself. I am not a fiction writer, so it could be helpful to be forced into it.

I did sign up for a fiction writing class in college once. I thought it would be a great opportunity to practice that, while before my writing had been about research, analyzing literature, or essay writing. I showed up the first night of class. The teacher started off by saying that the next week we need to bring a sample of some fiction we had written, or get something written to bring that next week. I went into shock at that point. I thought I was there to LEARN to write fiction, not walk in already knowing how to write it. I don't think I heard another word said, and I quickly dropped the class.

In the book I'm using for the co-op class, it lists six reasons why people do not write:

1. The have no guarantee of readers.
2. They have no deadlines.
3. They don't have an editor.
4. They don't know how to edit their own work.
5. They don't write often enough.
6. They have too little or no regard for the reader.

I think the two biggest that apply for me are deadlines and not writing often enough. I know my mom at least reads this so I have a reader, after all those English classes I hope I can spell and turn a phrase or two without sounding too terrible, and I do keep readers in mind and try not to make things too boring. Keyword: Try

My pal Karen and I have talked about starting a writing group which would certainly alleviate all the problems above, but with just the two of us interested so far, a writing duo isn't nearly as exciting as a writing group.

Anyway, dear reader, since I do have regard for you, I'm going to close this up. But if you don't see anything posted for a while again, just assume that my preggo brain is working to create elsewhere.

Progressing

I'm really impressed with all we've been able to accomplish this week. Tuesday and Wednesday we got amazing amounts done. Thursday we were gone most of the day so not much. Friday and Saturday not as much as the first two days, but still progress, beautiful progress. It's such a great feeling! Don't come over expecting everything to be spotless because we still most definitely live here, but I won't be nearly as anxious about people discovering what lies beneath.

Speaking of progressing, other things are progressing as well, including another secret I've been holding onto for a while. Secret for about 13 weeks actually, though the secret has been progressing for about 18. Here's a clue:

Didn't help? Maybe this...

Still no? How about this:

NUMBER SIX that is.

If from all that you still don't know what the picture below means, maybe the Motor Mouth post will help clue you in.

I Have a Secret

I have more than one actually, but this is a really good one. It's one I just learned about, and I can't believe the difference it's making in our home. I'm smiling more because the world is a brighter more beautiful place.

Ready for this?

Kids can work.

Really! I again have to thank Lara for inspiring me in this. Work in the morning, learn in the afternoon. That's what we've been doing. Well, yesterday when we really started we were on such a roll that I just worked them as long as I possibly could, which for some ended up being most of the day. We cleaned out the fridge, under the kitchen sink, washed windows, cleaned above the cupboards and washed everything up there, and cleaned the bathroom. Woo hoo! Then we did all the regular frontroom/kitchen cleaning, sweeping, mopping, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, etc. etc. All this was done with very little complaining.

This morning we got the lazy susan cleaned out and washed (honey, why do we have four bottles of molasses?), and the coat closet emptied so we can figure out what's too small or who has been handed down more jackets than they actually need, and got some things in the backyard headed to the trash.

We still started our day with our morning devotional, some history, and a newer addition to our morning, reading from the "Book of Virtues." Then off to work.

I've always worked harder with someone working along with me, so that's a bonus. The other bigger part of the secret is that when I'm sick of part of a job, I can pass it on! (Don't tell the kids.) I can also say things like "Oops, you need to get that spot right there a bit better."

Now that you know the secret, try it, you'll love it!

Personal Revelation

I've been tossing a question around in my head for a while. I love to learn new things and want to constantly be learning and studying great books, but lately I've felt really disorganized in that. Like I had no direction, no goal, no anything. So every time I was ready to move onto something new I just felt lost as to where to go, and I've ended up reading less because of it. Saturday afternoon I was driving home from helping to paint the barn at my grandma's house, thinking about it again.

Saturday night I attended the general Relief Society meeting. I don't think there was anything said that made me think of it, but at one point the same question popped into my head, and a moment later I had my answer. I need to study things about home and family.

Before going to bed that night I took a few minutes to stare at my bookshelf and pulled off most of the books that I felt like could fit into that category. Here's a partial list:

Daisy Chain by Charlotte Mary Yonge (currently reading)

Eight Cousins by Louisa May Alcott

Jo's Boys by Louisa May Alcott

Nurtured by Love by Shinichi Suzuki

Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia MacLachlan

Pollyanna by Eleanor H. Porter

Little Britches by Ralph Moody

Five Little Peppers and How They Grew by Margaret Sidney

The Friendly Persuasion by Jessamyn West

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families by Stephen Covey

The Power of a Positive Mom by Karol Ladd

The Book of Mormon: It Begins with a Family (essays)

The Book of Mormon: A Pattern for Parenting by Geri Brinley

Glimpses into the Life and Heart of Marjorie Pay Hinkley

Watership Down by Richard Adams

Song of the Lark by Willa Cather

Swiss Family Robinson by Johann Wyss (thanks Lara)

Like I said, a partial list. There are some here that might leave people scratching their heads but I have my reasons how they fit into home and family. It was also just perusing the bookshelf next to my bed, not all the other bookshelves throughout the house. I'll stick with these for now.

This also includes home and family skills I need to learn. The ever-hovering cleaning/decluttering skill I find so hard to keep up with, canning, meal planning, gardening, and many other skills I can learn to strengthen my home and family. All the things I'm currently a failure at. This list could go on for miles, but I'll spare you the gory details.

I'm excited! I noticed a book that I had checked out from the library recently that doesn't fit here, and I can easily decide to take it back for now and save it for another time. Doesn't mean I'm not willing to throw in other books, but that my focus is on home and family.

Direction. Purpose. Peace.

Any other suggestions for my list?

Always Out of Order

I have three or four posts I've started in the past week or so but haven't finished, adding to the many others in the same category. We'll see if this one gets officially published.

I'm so out of order. An example from this morning. I had a bracelet I needed to ship, really quick and easy style. I needed to get online (there's the downfall!) to check the size since I hadn't written it down, and after checking my e-mail, reading a couple blog posts quick, e-mailing my visiting teaching partner, I finally turned to make the bracelet. At the same moment I heard the mail lady driving up the street. Oops. Now I get to go drop it off at the blue mailbox up the street instead just at my own mailbox. That's what I mean, always out of order. Something else I need to learn - priorities!!!

On a random sidenote, we have all been looking very religious lately, well the kids at least, trying to choose which jeans were the least holey when we have to venture out in public. Yesterday I went to Savers (if you don't know, like DI only they organize their jeans way better so I can actually find what I'm looking for. DI, could you fix that? No sizes on the racks really bugs me. Maybe you have a system and I just haven't figured it out yet. I promise I'll ask about it sometime). I love buying my jeans there, because I hate how much jeans cost, especially ones that actually look nice. Several years ago I stopped buying jeans for the kids there because instead of the knees lasting a few months they started lasting only one month, thus making it not very cost effective. I decided to take the plunge again and see if that still held true, thoroughly inspecting the knees of course. Happily, I walked out with at least two pairs of jeans each (in some cases they'll have some to grow into) for five of us.

One Year at a Time

Early in 2008 I declared it the year to clear things out. No, I'm not done. In my defense, I've heard it said that it didn't take a day (or a year in this case) to get that deep, so it's going to take more than a day (or year) to clear it out. Besides the whole 5 kids and lots of other things to do factor.

Still, I got a lovely surprise about how much I've learned and how my attitude has changed when I attended an organization class Saturday put on by my amazing and talented friendKaren. I don't think there was anything overly new for me in that realm that she shared (other than another burst of motivation to keep it going), but the biggest realization I got there was that rather than feeling anxious while I listened, feeling like it was something I should be doing and internally coming up with all kinds of reasons why I shouldn't/couldn't get rid of things I didn't need to hold on to anymore, it was refreshing and exciting to be there, knowing that the weight of all those feelings isn't on me ANY MORE! That I can get rid of things and it's okay, and wonderful even! Hooray! Thank you Karen for the big part you've had to play in that, Lara for yours a lot through your blog (and a quote recently while talking to her, "Just throw it away, you'll be glad you did" - she's right), and the authors who've written books or articles I've happened upon to help my heart change as much as it has.

Oh wait, before I move on, something I did learn from Karen at the class that has already been proving helpful - tell the kids they only have to clean up the things they want to keep. Genius! I told that to my boys, and I don't think I've ever seen their room cleaned so well. They didn't have time to finish what they were working on, but I was impressed. Very impressed. I'm so glad there are so many people smarter than me.

This year, I decided back in January, was my year to learn to make bread. It took some reading and playing and messing up, but I feel very great about my bread making efforts. We make a triple batch of rolls about every week, if not more often when I'm more on top of it. I've learned that rolls go faster than a loaf of bread so I make those the most. Just easier for the kids to grab and eat without having to deal with cutting it. My learning has paid off enough that I even taught a class on making bread Saturday!

Isn't it great how learning new things pays off? If those were the only two things I'd learned in the past two years I would still feel pretty darn good about myself. A slow learner, but still making progress. With all the years ahead, if I learned one more cool thing like that every year, just think about how amazing I would be!!!

Exciting things to learn practice a lot in the future: canning, sewing, meal planning, piano (after years of piano lessons, I was teaching two of the kids how to sight read using Jon Schmidt's method and really learning it for myself!), and some other things I thought of earlier but can't remember right now.

Learned anything exciting and new lately?

Habit Breaking

I was feeling so punished at the beginning of my week without internet. Since I'm a tough girl and know I can put up with a lot, I have to put on my tough girl face about that, so everyone would know that really I was surviving. (But wait, did that last post sound a little more whiney than tough girl?)

Well either way, she finally did come out. And I started really enjoying my evenings without wasting using my time to catch up on e-mail and blogs. And rather than using the computer for downtime I would find other methods (sorry, still not housecleaning) to settle my brain for a few moments.

I realized some funny irony about the whole situation a couple days ago. A few weeks ago I got really really really really really sick of the TV, so I "broke" it - unplugged it, but not in the way I normally would straight from the wall, but just the TV cord into the power strip that then connects to the wall. The kids were baffled, and for several days our house was blissfully TV-less. It amazed me how quickly they stopped turning to it at every bored moment. Now it is much easier to regulate, and when mom says "no" like I still have to sometimes, they just go find something else to do.

Maybe I needed the same lesson. Even though it's been up since Wednesday night, I'm not back into old habits yet. I was having fun with the 7 day blogging thing and overcoming some of the reasons I don't blog much (more on that since I learned about that a few days ago), but there are so many exciting things out there to see and do. Like pilates. The kids and I have been doing pilates here and there. And hello! It's always good to work on my forever expanding reading list.

See, it was all for the good. Thanks for breaking the internet for me, Jamie. Told you I don't hate you!

Wasn't That Thoughtful?

*The quote above is from my favorite Fairy Tale Theater show, Cinderella. Matthew Broderick is in it. You should really watch it. If you can't find a copy through the library, I have one I would love to share. It's worth it. I was introduced to it by a friend and eventual roommate of mine, and I would love to pass along it's greatness.*

Sorry 7 day challenge readers. I promise I fully intended to finish it through. I had lovely little blog post ideas dancing through my head, just waiting to come to fruition.

But...

Jamie went out of town Thursday. Wednesday night he said, "Oh, by the way, I am changing [something something with our internet], so it might go down tomorrow. And guess what? I won't be back until Friday and will probably just meet you at the singles branch campout that night, so if there is a problem, I won't be able to do anything about it until we get back on Saturday. IF THEN. Mwa-ha-ha!"

My first thought (I kid you not) was, "But, but... I'm on a 7 day challenge!!!"

Come to find out when we got home today, no one told him he had to buy their modem to make the [something something change] work, so while he was able to order the modem today, it won't ship till Monday, and coming slow boat it won't arrive till Wednesday OR SO.

Feel free to cry a few tears for me.

It's funny really how attached to the internet I am.

Thursday morning I got up and checked my e-mail just fine. The kids and I planned to go to a rocket booster test at ATK near Promontory Point, and before we left I thought I should read the e-mail about it again to make sure I had all the info I needed. About 9:45 I realized the internet was down. I debated whether to trust what I remembered or not, and not wanting to drive an hour to find out I got something wrong I ran to the library. Which provided another opportunity, since I could pick up a book on CD for us to listen to on our way there and back ("Peter Pan"). After all that, the rocket booster test counted down to 20 seconds and stopped. Some hydrolic problem that couldn't be fixed. We stopped by the Bear River Bird Refuge on the way home so it wasn't an entirely lost trip.

Friday before heading up to the campout we couldn't find Jamie's fishing license for him, and Sam was DYING to go fishing since he got a fly pole for his birthday. I'm also giving a talk Sunday and though I was done writing it, there was a story I wanted to print. So on our way to the campout we drove by my mom's house, printed out a fishing license for Jamie, and printed out the story.

Upon realizing the internet wouldn't be fixed today (Adam and I were already planning another trip to the library), Jamie got me on through dial-up. This is a very annoying trip down memory lane, but don't get me wrong, I'm grateful! My e-mail box needed some serious attention.

Besides looking for a little sympathy from all of you wonderful souls reading this any time you feel like from your high speed internet connections.

Chicken vs. Eagle

*I promise the chicken theme is entirely unintended! Maybe it's my desire for chickens unconsciously waving its little hand to remind me (as if I need that - I have chicken books sitting around in various stages of being read).*

I always prided myself in school for being a top student. Unfortunately, the rewards in real life, or at least in my real life, are far less evident than an A on a paper, test, or report card. I have so many areas that I know I'm average or below average, that I know I could be better at.

I was reminded of the parable of the chickens and the eagle recently. If you haven't read this story, go right now and do it. There are lots of versions of this story out there with differences here and there, but I really like that one.

Every time I've heard that I've paused long enough to think "I want to be an eagle!" How long that motivating feeling lasts depends on the circumstances where I heard it and what happens to be going on in my life right then, but I think I'm gleaning a bit more out of the story this time, or at least trying to.

Adam will be starting up with a new homeschool group in a couple weeks, and they had a little kickoff hike Saturday, after which they got their notebooks for the coming year. The chicken/eagle story is in it, and printed on the back are some questions to ponder. Here they are for your own internal searching and improvement enjoyment:

Who has expectations for you life?

What high expectations do you need help to meet? Who is your "naturalist"?

Are there any unrealistic expectations people have for you? (yourself included!)

What "chicken" behaviors do you hold on to? Why do you hang on to them?

How can you get rid of your "chicken" behaviors?

What "eagle" purpose do you have?

If you were the eagle, what is one thing that you can relate to?

And a few others to add:

Are you a chicken or an eagle?

Isn't it time to spread your wings and make majestic circles in the air?

What's keeping you?

When is the last time you dreamed something for yourself and did it?

The questions helped me think through things I need to be doing (or stop doing) to help myself become the eagle I want to be. Chickens are cool and all, but if someone offered me a chicken or an eagle, I would take the eagle anyday. Even if I didn't get to scramble up their eggs.

And for your viewing enjoyment, a slightly different version of the chicken and eagle story told very well and with accompanying music to boot.