Thursday, March 20, 2008

Telling Myself No

I read something a few weeks ago about telling your children "No" sometimes for things that are good for them, but the no is to make sure they are really ready for it. They were talking about kids wanting to really dive into studying, and that telling them no helps you to find out if they are really ready for it. If they forget about it after you say no, then they weren't. If they keep at you and beg and beg, then they are. This could easily be applied to something like piano lessons. Most people think it's a great thing if their children want to take piano lessons and jump at the interest. If you tell them no and they keep pestering, you know that the desire is really there and not just a whim.

In my decluttering journey I'm learning the value of telling myself no. Decluttering my bedroom really scares me. I don't entirely know why. Maybe partially because I know that to really do that, a lot of things will need to move elsewhere, but where? So then I think I need to finish the basement first. I think I'm also assuming that because they are in my bedroom I NEEEEEED them. I've had a hard time even thinking about it too much, and feel myself getting stressed when I start to consider different ideas. It stresses me even more because I know it stresses Jamie as well. So I've just tried not to think about it, figuring when I'm ready, I'll know.

Jamie left town again this morning dark and early (the sun was far from up), so I started thinking what I could work on while he's gone. I immediately thought of our bedroom, and started thinking, maybe now is the time. "No," I told myself, "it's not. I'm not ready." Immediately this feeling welled up, reminding me of my own childrens' "But Mooooooommmmmmm! I waaaannnnnttt toooo!!!!!" This is good, I thought.

I might do some minor here's and there's, but I'll keep saying no for a while if that's what happens.


  1. I wonder what is better: being ready to organize or being MAD that you can't find your poor kids birthday presents (that you must have taken away when they didn't clean them up or something) so you start grabbing and throwing stuff away. Um.... yeah.....

  2. Oh, and it wasn't toys going to the garbage, just stupid stuff that was cluttering up my playroom.

  3. I love this idea of telling kids no. I used it this weekend when Nathan was trying to do boondoggle. He was quickly frustrated because he tells himself that he can't do things. I took it away and told him, "No, you can't do that. It's making you too frustrated." He came back later and picked it up on his own and figured it right out. Worked like a charm!